No alarms and no surprises, please.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Fridge shares videos

Ok, these need to be watched in order.

First watch this one and get your full geek on.

then, as the extreme geekout nearly makes you slide into a coma, watch this and you'll return to normal.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Name Game Meme

Tagged by Tracy in the "all Toasters" category...

1. Witness Protection Program Name
(mother’s & father’s middle names): Jane Henry

2. NASCAR Name (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad): Simeon Henry

3. Star Wars Name (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name): Blerik

4. Detective Name (favorite color, favorite animal): Blue Lab

5. Soap Opera Name (middle name, city where you live): John Clinton

6. Superhero Name (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add "THE" to the beginning): The Green Guiness

7. Fly Name (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Erir

8. Gangsta Name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie): Chocolate Thin Mint

9. Rock Star Name (current pet’s name, current street name): Roxy Pepperbush

10. Porn Name (1st pet, street you grew up on): Porthos Kendon

My thoughts:
- shouldn't the rules reverse #1 for cases of gender? Henry Jane would be a far better witness protection name than Jane Henry. Unless we're going to extraordinary lengths to hide my identity.
- Blerik is a good star wars name. I'd like to be "Blerik Skywalker" the shiftless drunken half-brother to Luke and Leia. Kinda like Roger Clinton.
- 'Blue Lab' isn't a great detective name, but would be a fantastic name for a pub.
- I think "The Green Guinness" would be an overly muscled heroic leprechaun?
- I could pull off "Chocolate Thin Mint" as a gangsta name. I would just need RZA to produce.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Nope, not ready to be magnanimous yet

Open Post to Barack Obama


Look, Mr. President-Elect, I get it. You're the big person, gracious as all get out and you think Lieberman should be allowed to return to the Democratic caucus, "prodigal son" style. So, you know, let's kill a fatted calf and have a barbecue chock full of bon homie, keg beer and backslapping.

Nope. Not yet. Not for Lieberman. Sorry, I can't.

It's a bit personal, you see. It was to me, as a Connecticut voter, that Joe lied during his 2006 Senate run. At the time, one of his faces said he was a vocal critic of the president. His other face said "in matters of war, we undermine presidential credibility at our nation's peril." One of his faces said, in October 2006 (before the election), he thought we could bring the troops home soon. The other face then said two months later (after the election) that doing so was victory for Al Qaeda. During his re-election campaign he said he'd support a Democrat for president. And I'm sure you remember what he said at the Republican Convention, about you voting against funding the troops.

Did you really vote to cut off spending to the troops? Or are you just Jesus-like in your ability to turn the other cheek? I'm not. If it were up to me, I'd put his droopy-faced head on a pike next to the Washington Monument. It's not me, however, and you seem to have a distaste for revenge. But more than just me looking for revenge, there's a pragmatic side to punishing Joe. Simply put, there has to be a cost for his actions. You've got a big job ahead as the offcial cat-herder of self-obsessed Washington operators. If you expect to have the respect of 535 supremely egotistical and independently motivated congress members, there has to be a cost to stepping THIS FUCKING far out of line.

So, I get it. You're a legit "big tent" guy. But Joe Lieberman lied to his constituents, lied about your record and turned his back on his party at the most critical moments of my lifetime. There has to be a cost.

Friday, November 07, 2008

We un-retire this blog to bring you thoughts of a five year old

Yesterday, I bought my son a Spiderman lunch box because I dropped his Speed Racer lunch box and the little plastic doo-hickey that keeps it closed snapped off. That led to this conversation on the way to pre-school today.

Jonny: Dad, why did you break my Speed Racer lunch box?
Dad: Well, it was an accident, remember? It fell off the counter and broke.
Jonny: Oh yeah. I remember. That's OK Dad, because it was an accident and I like this one better anyway.
Dad: Great! What do you like about it?
Jonny: It's like my friend Nicholas' spider man lunch box, but different. It's blue. It has my name on it. Hey, I can see Spider-Man's penis.
Dad: Wait, What!?!?!?! You can?!?!?!
Jonny: Yeah, it's right next to his leg.
Dad (thinking silently): That's where you usually find them. Apparently Daddy didn't vet this lunch box sufficiently.
Jonny (singing): "Spider Penis! Spider Penis! Does whatever a Spider Penis does....."

In truth, it was simply the copious bulge in Spider-man's spider-crotch, which Daddy explained was most likely stuffed with spider-socks to help him attract spider-chicks.