No alarms and no surprises, please.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Super Bowl Link Dump

- First up, I'm going to watch the G-Men up at Toast's place. Hope he has a defibrillator on hand because apparently sporting events can cause heart attacks. If the Giants pull off an upset, I'll go with a smile on my face, at least.

- Next, if I ever get tired of TO Crying, I'll be able to entertain myself with Romo singing Journey's Don't Stop Believing. Who am I kidding? I'm never gonna get sick of TO Crying.

- And if you think I'm picking only on Cowboys, here's an article for you. Romo may be partying with Jessica Simpson this off season, but Eli's offseason usually includes antiquing (!) Yes, clearly he really is not the typical swaggering, gunslinging, QB. Oy vey!

- Want to read a good article about Coach Coughlin, our red-faced maniacal sideline general? Here it is, from Pete Prisco who was the only beat reporter they had in Jacksonville during Coughlin's tenure. He recounts some seriously borderline control freakish behavior from the red-faced one. TC has really softened a bit since then.

- It's amazing how Tiki Barber, who was the best player on the Giants for several years, has fallen from grace with Giant fans, including me. He is a media guy who can't get an interview with his former teammates. And an unnamed Giant has said they wouldn't have made it to the Super Bowl with him because of his effect on the locker room - they refer to him as me-ki. Wow. I have to admit that it was hard not to root for Barber given how hard he worked, how good he was and how much he meant to the team. But I've never seen a guy leave and have the team turn on him like that. They must have really not liked him. Now, I don't either (and I'm almost certain that unnamed player in the second link is Strahan).

- Lastly, click here to listen to Bill Simmons' Super Bowl podcast. It's in two parts. The first half is Simmons and Aaron Schatz from Football Outsiders in "Two Pats Fans, One Cup". It's two Pats fans giggling and tying to decide if their team is gonna win - by 20 points or 30 points. The second is Simmons and Cousin Sal in the "Crying Game" with a Bitter Dallas Fan and a Pat fan trying to decide if the Pats are gonna win by 20 or 30. Man, I hope the Giants win and I can get to listen to these guys again next week.

Desktop Meme

My old school homies Wilde and Toast have started a show your desktop meme. I'm in, baby. Here's my work desktop.

Like Mr. Furious, I rock a dual monitor set up. Unlike Furious, they're only 17 inches a piece - not 20 inches (!). But, it's not the size of the monitor, it's the.... whatever.

I just use some canned background that came with Windows Server 2003 (I love Win2k3!), because this is a machine for work. I almost have both monitors covered with maximized apps. I don't adorn the background at work with kid pictures. I litter my office with them, instead. To me, dual monitors for work is an absolute must have. I always thought it was a luxury until I got a second one and now I can never go back.

I'm with Toast on the superfluous icons. They need editing. In fact, I almost never launch anything from my desktop. The only time I use the desktop at all is when I want to have a convenient place to save off throw away files. There's a couple SQL files and a CSV file that are exactly that. The rest of the icons are crappity crap and should be purged. Oh, and there is a cameraphone picture of my daughter at a birthday party when she was 4. Here's that. Far cuter than anything on my desktop.

I'll update this post from home with my home PC. That one is more personalized and I'll even take a pic of the PC itself, which I built with my own two hands. Well, that is, my two hands and

Updated: My desk is too messy for pics right now and I need to go watch LOST. But here's my home desktop. No dual Monitors here, but I am rocking a nice 22" widescreen. By far, the most expensive piece of my build your own PC. Love it. My kids look a bit stretched in widescreen, eh? If you look closely, you can see desktop icons for the glorious "orange box" and if you look REALLY closely, you might even notice that Emma and I were belting out a sweet duet to High School Musical as I was hitting Ctrl and PrtScn - I do the Troy part and she's Gabrielle. Haven't messed with my widget doohickey yet. I'm not doing my laptop, too. Too much work.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


Some of you out there in the ether are aware that my iPod died. None of those particularly care, but I am here to bore you with the details.

On Xmas day, my son fell asleep in the car on the way to my brother-in-law's house because of the excessive strain of playing with the ridiculous bounty of toys bestowed upon him by Santa. Rather than wake him off and risk launching him into cranky 4 - year old mode, I just held him and figured that he'd eventually wake up from the chaos of all the cousins being in one house. Well, he woke up alright, but to our mutual surprise it was when he peed on both of us. My iPod was in my pocket.

Did you know there's no off switch on an iPod? Clever Apple bastards deemed it unnecessary and usually it is, unless you want to mitigate the risk of short circuits when something gets wet. Another great thing is having a removable battery. Without a power source, there can't be any short circuits. iPod doesn't have one of those either. So, I watched my little black buddy fry in silence as it imagined it was syncing with some urine laden PC.

So, that's the story of the death of my iPod. And yet, this turned out not to be unlucky tale of woe, but an excellent turn of events. See, I had randomly bought the extended warranty for my iPod at Best Buy. I never buy those things, but since I had gift cards saved up for the entire price and the idea of dropping a little hard drive was unnerving, I splurged on it. Lucky me! 50 dollar Extended Warranty + ambiguous explanation of problem ("I think the hard drive is dead" true, but not the complete truth) = 'free' upgrade to 80GB iPod Classic. Woo Hoo! I thanked my boy for peeing on me.

And that's how we get to the introductory Poddery Barn for this new little dude.

1) Marvin Gaye - "Heard it through the Grapevine" Very Best of Marvin Gaye
I do a kick-ass karaoke version of this.
2) Radiohead - "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi" In Rainbows
I am over my resentment of Radiohead for changing from being one of the greatest guitar bands ever to something else completely. This album is pretty damn good.
3) The Presidents of the United States of America - "Lump" The Presidents of the United States of America
"Lump lingered last in line for brains and the one she got was kinda rotten and insane"
4) Everclear - "Brown Eyed Girl" Songs From An American Movie vol 1
Lame cover, but this song always reminds me of my daughter, her mom and their brown eyes.
5) Coldplay - "Talk" X&Y
You know how I know I'm gay? Because I like coldplay.
6) Kanye West - "The Bounce/Two Words (Live)" The Graduate (mixtape album)
Free mixtape album that I found that's not bad. The second part they turn into an Iraq protest song. Good stuff.
7) Tenacious D - "Kielbasa" Tenacious D
"I love ya baby but all I can think about is
Kielbasa sausage, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now get it on!"
8) Longview - "Further" Mercury
These dudes kinda suck. On iPod notice.
9) Dean Martin - "If" Dino - The Essential Dean Martin
"If they made me a king I'd be but a slave for you
If I had everything I'd still be a slave for you
If I ruled the night
Stars and moon so bright
Still I'd turn for life to you"
It's a long way from Kielbasa sausage to this. I love Dino.
10) Ryan Adams - "City Rain, City Streets" Love is Hell, pt. 2
Adams gets my vote for "Best Songwriter Working Today".
11) The Feeling - "Strange" Twelve Stops and Home
Clean, shiny pop songs on this album.
12) Alice In Chains - "Would" MTV Unplugged: Alice In Chains
Damn, I love this song. One of the definitive songs of the 90s.
13) Crowded House - "I Feel Possessed" Temple Of Low Men
When this album came out, I was obsessed with it. I'm certain I annoyed the crap out of my neighbors with it back in the "penthouse" of the fraternity house.

There ya go! Damn good one for the new Pods virgin shuffle.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Order it quickly! Hot off the presses!

Check out this link to the Amazon page for a certain future best-seller. 19-0: The Historic Championship Season of New England's Unbeatable Patriots (Paperback)

Who wrote it? The Boston Globe. I wonder if they're also the ones who printed "Dewey beats Truman"?

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Audacity of Plaxico

I'm really enjoying blogging the Giants Super Bowl run and the hype that surrounds it. Can you tell?

Here's the latest media lunacy. An AP article in which Plaxico Burress makes the unbelievable claim that the Giants have WRs that may be better than the Patriots. Jesu Cristo! He's cerifiably insane? Why would he want to fire up the Pats before the big game? Is he delusional?

Plaxico Burress has made some amazing catches.

And this amazing statement:

His Giants may have better receivers than the Patriots' very deep group of Randy Moss, Wes Welker, Donte' Stallworth and Jabar Gaffney.

The response from New England? No laughter, no putdowns, no he-said-what?

Just check out what happens on the field.

"The good thing about the National Football League and I think in life, you have opportunities," Patriots safety Rodney Harrison said, "an opportunity to make sure that comes to light. So we'll see."

So, what was the actual quote that led this writer to believe that Burress said that? It's found about half-way down the article after the writer has statistically debunked the ridiculous Burress claim that he paraphrased with words of his own choosing.

Burress, though, is very confident, no matter what the numbers say.

"We have guys that can go out and do things just as well or maybe better than some of those guys," he said last week.

'Just as well or maybe better than some of those guys.' Boastful prick! Someone needs to teach him some humility!

What question, would you imagine, preceded this Burress claim? I dunno, something like.... "How do you think the Giants receiver corps ranks next to the Pats?" What is he supposed to say? "We suck?" Let's look at the linked daily news article that also debunks this "claim" with stats but provides more of Plax's comments too.

Still, when asked if he would put the Giants' receivers right up there with the Patriots', Burress said, "I don't see why not. We're both going to be on the same field on (Feb. 3)."


"Moss is a great player," Burress said. "Welker is a great addition to what they're doing right now. What they've done as far as setting records and touchdowns and the No. 1 offense in NFL history, those guys are supposed to get a lot of credit. Definitely one of the reasons their offense is the way it is, is because of their receiving corps. I have a lot of respect for those guys. Those guys are great players. They deserve all the praise that they get."

Cocky sonovabitch!

Seriously, we need to put an idiot filter on all Super Bowl hype stories. Two weeks is just too much time to fill between games for these dopey sports writers. 'Course it doesn't help that I keep reading them all.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Easy E

NFL Films on Eli Manning. I love this video (it's short). In many ways, Steve Sabol is right. Eli is the un-quarterback. But, he's such an obviously good guy that he's easy to root for, even when he's throwing 4 INTs. Hopefully he can slouch his way to Arizona and, with a look on his face akin those seen in many a group home, lead the G-Men to a huge upset.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Excuse me, do you have some Grey Poupon?

The long dry spell between the Conference Championships and the Super Bowl can make for some truly gag-inducing journalism. We all know this and count the days until the official national guacamole holiday. But this may be a new low. I give you Jessica Heslam of the Boston Herald.

New England Patriots fans are smarter, classier and healthier and own pricier homes than the riff-raff who root for the New York Giants - and now we’ve got the research to back it up.

oh do tell, you stuck up bitch....

We are likely to read connoisseur magazines like Wine Spectator. Gotham fans like to pig out on junk food like pretzels, chips and nuts. They’re also less likely to favor organic food than other New Yorkers

Wine spectator.... wow. You guys totally kick ass. I'm feeling inferior in my wine knowledge. Which one is is the red? Pinot Grigio or Pinot Noir?

Then she interviews a numbnuts who lives near the stadium.

“Boston fans are much classier,” said Schuster, a real estate agent and software consultant who is heading out to Arizona for the Super Bowl. “Have you ever been to Yankee stadium? I mean, they boo their own players.”

“Bostonians, in general, are better educated,” Schuster added. “New Yorkers have to send their kids to Boston to educate them.”

You just had to throw in the Yankee bit, didn't you, you pillow-biting pink sox hat wearing wuss.

Wow. Boston fans are some unlikable bastards. I now have the answer to the question of who could possibly root for such an unlikable group of assholes as these Patriots. Assholes of a feather flock together.

Go Giants!

Sweep the leg, Osi!

Tom Brady is a bit dinged up. That's football for ya. It happens. However, if knows it, clearly the Giants know it and will certainly try and test how much it's healed by next Sunday. Is it unethical to do so? Is it wrong to literally try to hit Brady in that leg and try and make it hurt a bit - not illegally of course, but within the bounds of the rules?

Were it Eli (who separated his throwing shoulder earlier this year and played through it as I'm sure Brady will play through this), would we expect anything less than that from the HGH taking, illegally videotaping, eye-poking Pats? Don't think so.

And so, the official position of BuzzingFridge on this is "SWEEP THE LEG". Kobra Kai, baby!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Do you know what is a weird day?

The first day your daughter accidentally calls you "Dave", "Dave" being the name of your future ex-wife's boyfriend.

That's a weird day. It's a little thing - an honest mistake by a 5 year old more concerned about the flower she's drawing than who is handing her the glass of juice she asked for so politely. "Thanks, Dave- oops! I mean Daddy!. Isn't that funny Daddy? I almost called you Dave!" Yeah, it's funny alright.

It sticks with you. It's something you think about as you go to sleep that night and is still lurking in the back of your mind when you wake up the next morning.

That day was yesterday for me. I'm pleased to report that today she remembered my name right off the bat. "Good Morning Daddy!" It was a relief. I'll hope to continue to be relieved every time she calls me "Daddy" for at least a while.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Bear Grylls saves lives then takes a sauna

Ok, my favorite things about having this crappy blog has been the random commenters that have stopped by to excoriate me for having the audacity to question the fantastic Bear Grylls. I had a sizable man-crush on Bear, but was devastated to hear that many parts of his survival show, Man Vs. Wild, are in fact staged and that his claims of being left in the wilderness with just a knife and a camera crew were greatly exaggerated.

Many of my critics pointed out that "Bear is just trying to show people how to survive and I'm just jealous and probably live in my parents' basement". Stupid critics. It therefore behooves me to point out that Bear and Man Vs. Wild is in fact credited for helping a bunch of almost naturally de-selected teenagers survive falling through ice into freezing waters. Let's give credit where credit is due.

If you'd like to see how Bear recklessly risked his life to save these kids' lives you can click here to watch the original Man Vs. Wild clip credited for helping. Bonus for the ladies as Buff Bear does some Bare-Nekkid push ups to get his blood pumping.

Never let it be said that the Fridge ain't a fair-minded individual.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Way back in 1988, Eddie Murphy was clairvoyant

Prince Akeem: Sir, did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?
Cleo McDowell: No, I didn't.
Prince Akeem: Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big "H". It was a most ripping victory.
Cleo McDowell: Son.
Prince Akeem: Yes?
Cleo McDowell: If you want to keep working here, stay off the drugs.
Prince Akeem: Yes.

Jonny Blogging

I do a fair share of blogging the wit and wisdom of my 5 year old daughter. Her 4 year old brother, affectionately known as "the boy", "Jonny Boy Be-Bop" (his sister gave him that one) and simply "JB" isn't the word smith that his sister is. He's clever in his own way.

Jonny: Daddy, you're funny!

Dad: Oh yeah? I'm funny?

Jonny (giggling): YES!

Dad (now doing the worst Joe Pesci ever): I'm funny how, you mean funny like I'm a clown?

Jonny (Laughing): Yeah!

Dad: I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Jonny: You're funny, poop-head! (runs up and punches Dad in the stomach and runs away laughing)

Dad (to no one in particular): That must have been in the director's cut.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Leave Tony Romo Alone!!!!!

He's a person! He's going through a hard time! After all he's been through!!!! WaaaaaaaahhhhHH!!!!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Carter Vs Carter

Cris Carter picks the Cowboys on Cris Carter disagrees, though. He picks the Giants on HBO.

Now, it's hard to get on Cris Carter, because he was a truly outstanding player. But, good FSM, that's stupid.

Movie Review - Shoot 'Em Up

Disclaimer: If you don't like stylistic, improbable violence, silly catch phrases and body counts nearing triple digits then stop reading now. This movie is not for you. If you're a fan of John Woo before he met John Travolta and came to Hollywood, keep reading.

This movie can be summed up easily: 1) Clever scene set-up. 2) Clever action sequence with lots of dead bad guys 3) Clever punchline. Now, do all that repeatedly for 90 minutes - but instead of doing it in a glossy, hyper explosive Michael Bay way, do it in a quirky, off-center indie film way. That's the movie. Want something even shorter? It's the bizarro Bourne Identity. Just as hyper-kinetic, but instead of gritty realism, you get loopy fantasy.

The plot is convoluted, improbable and superfluous, frankly. It's like a good porn script in that it gets itself out of the way quickly in favor of the action. All in all, I thought the film was good fun and has 4-5 sequences that are still pretty vivid in my mind several days later. This may be because of the performances of Clive Owen (the hero), Monica Bellucci (the perpetually lactating prostitute - so cliche) and the tasty villain, Paul Giamatti (one mean dude with glasses and comb-over). Oh yeah, and there's a baby at the center of this whole mess to heighten the sense of peril. It worked for me.

In short, this movie does for action films what Evil Dead 2 did for 80's horror flicks. It brings irreverence and fun to tired cliche. Want Art? Move on. Want Realism? Try the Discovery Channel. Wanna kick back with a few beers and watch a movie version of basically every first person shooter video game? This is it. I liked it.

Rating: 3 out of 5 possible couches.

Looks like I might need one of these today - Watch more free videos

Friday, January 11, 2008


I haven't had much time to blog nor much to say recently. In the absence of anything original, let me post this proof that Jesus Christ is our savior. Or at least he appears intent on saving this dog's ass. And yes, this is also in part a surly response to incessant cat-blogging.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

The mind of a five year old girl

vignette number one:

Interior: Fridge Household.

The family, including Fridge's Mom and Dad and brother and sister in law from Boston is discussing various topics when the subject of the Yankees comes up. Excited, five year old Emma chimes in.

Emma: Mommy loves the Yankees! Daddy Loves the Yankees! Grammy loves the Yankees! I love the Yankees! Gramps loves the Yankees! Jonny loves the Yankees! Uncle Nat loves the Yankees! Baby Colin loves the Yankees! Aunt Barb loves the Yankees!

Aunt Barb: (interrupting) Actually, Emma, I'm from Boston and I love the Red Sox.

Emma: (confused and a bit distressed) Well, how did you get into our family?

Fridge: We blame Uncle Nat.

Uncle Nat: She lied on the application.


vignette number two:

Interior: Fridge's kitchen.

Emma runs over to her Daddy, who is doing the dishes. She's excited and has her hands tucked inside her shirt, leaving her sleeves empty. She's using her hands to simulate breasts.

Emma: Daddy! Look! I have boobies and no hands!

Fridge: Well, why would you want boobies and not hands?

Emma: Because I like having boobies!

Fridge: I like boobies, too. But, hands are pretty awesome. That's how you draw such beautiful pictures, write in cursive.... all kinds of stuff.

Emma: Well, I don't need them.

Fridge: How are you gonna pick stuff up?

Emma: I'll get someone else to pick it up.

Fridge: (thinking to himself) "that's pretty much how boobies work"
Fridge: (actually out loud to daughter) I think you should stick with hands for now. Please take your hands out of your shirt.


Tuesday, January 01, 2008

End of 2007 meme

I love memes. As this one is a reflective meme and my 2007 was, um.... interesting so this may not be the peppiest look back that you read. But here we go.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Started thinking about myself.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Nope. Resolutions are for suckers. Recipe for failure.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope. No new babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope. The Fridge circle had a zero population growth this year.

5. What places did you visit? I went to Maine. That's about it. Man, I loved it up there. Fridge needs a walden-esque cabin out there.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? A significant other that's not bat-shit crazy.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? September 4th was my daughter's first day of kindergarten. That kicked ass. December 9th, which was a lousy day last year and this year was once again a shit sandwich from which I got to take a bite. I hate December 9th.

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Seriously? My biggest achievement was holding it together and being able to provide a warm environment for my kids.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I had a bunch, all tied for first. But, I'm not listing them. See, each of them was like one of those failed rocket launches of the 50's and 60's. Outstanding learning experiences. There's far more information in failure than success.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope. Nothing aside from a random virus brought home by my kids. Lucky!

11. What was the best thing you bought? My favorite thing I bought was Guitar Hero for the Wii. I love that. The best thing was probably my CPAP machine - a treatment for sleep apnea. Transformed how I sleep. I'm cranky when I can't use it.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My kids. Always far better behaved in public than I can believe, I am usually a very proud parent. Nice job, little guys!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Haha... see #6.

14. Where did most of your money go? Mortgage, childcare.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The Arctic Monkeys. They appeared on my radar this year (a bit late, really) and I listened to their two albums constantly for weeks.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? Blue Picadilly/Miss You by The Feeling.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter.
c) richer or poorer? Richer. And poorer. It's pretty complicated, really.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? I wish I had taken a legit vacation. I didn't though.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Pout like a whiny little nancy boy.
20. How did you spend Christmas last year? Um... awkwardly?

21. Did you fall in love in 2007? heheh. no.

22. How many one-night stands? None. But occasionally I spooned with a yellow labrador. Does that count?

23. What was your favorite TV program? Deadwood. I was pretty damn late to that party, but tore through those DVDs like they were going out of style. Cocksucker!

24. What did you do for your birthday in 2007? the dishes, I think, then I had a living room campout with my kids.

25. What was the best book you read? tie - The Conscience of a Liberal by Paul Krugman and The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? hey! I kind of already answered this question, didn't I? Well, I'll put number two "discovery". Critical darlings Kings of Leon. Their first two albums have been in rotation for months and months with no end in sight. Just a fantastic band.

27. What did you want and get?
Guitar Hero. Total present to myself. Then I went out and pimp-slapped Tom Morello, Slash and Beelzebub. In that order.

28. What did you want and not get? A divorce.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Superbad.

30. Did you make some new friends this year? Yeah, a couple.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I can't think of one thing.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? Haggar stain-resistant pants?

33. What kept you sane? My kids. Having to provide stability and structure for them helped me a lot

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Rachel Weisz

35. What political issue stirred you the most? Jeez.... This could be a top ten list. Waterboarding tapes?

36. Who did you miss?
Dennis. Didn't see him at all this year.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Dan at work, who brought sanity to the QA department and kicks ass in many other ways.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007. Having the the entire infrastructure of your life crumble isn't as debilitating as it sounds...