Nope, not ready to be magnanimous yet

Open Post to Barack Obama

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Look, Mr. President-Elect, I get it. You're the big person, gracious as all get out and you think Lieberman should be allowed to return to the Democratic caucus, "prodigal son" style. So, you know, let's kill a fatted calf and have a barbecue chock full of bon homie, keg beer and backslapping.

Nope. Not yet. Not for Lieberman. Sorry, I can't.

It's a bit personal, you see. It was to me, as a Connecticut voter, that Joe lied during his 2006 Senate run. At the time, one of his faces said he was a vocal critic of the president. His other face said "in matters of war, we undermine presidential credibility at our nation's peril." One of his faces said, in October 2006 (before the election), he thought we could bring the troops home soon. The other face then said two months later (after the election) that doing so was victory for Al Qaeda. During his re-election campaign he said he'd support a Democrat for president. And I'm sure you remember what he said at the Republican Convention, about you voting against funding the troops.

Did you really vote to cut off spending to the troops? Or are you just Jesus-like in your ability to turn the other cheek? I'm not. If it were up to me, I'd put his droopy-faced head on a pike next to the Washington Monument. It's not me, however, and you seem to have a distaste for revenge. But more than just me looking for revenge, there's a pragmatic side to punishing Joe. Simply put, there has to be a cost for his actions. You've got a big job ahead as the offcial cat-herder of self-obsessed Washington operators. If you expect to have the respect of 535 supremely egotistical and independently motivated congress members, there has to be a cost to stepping THIS FUCKING far out of line.

So, I get it. You're a legit "big tent" guy. But Joe Lieberman lied to his constituents, lied about your record and turned his back on his party at the most critical moments of my lifetime. There has to be a cost.

I dream of Joe?

So, these two little outbreak monkeys I live with (they call me Dad) brought home a nice little ebola virus for me to wrestle with. A stomach bug. I spent Tuesday night expelling fluid from my body at an impressive rate and not sleeping at all. Then, after I managed to get my kids off to school Wednesday morning, I crawled back to bed. But, I was curious what was being said about the Obama-Clinton primary results. So, I put on MSNBC and drifted in and out of sleep to talking heads and dueling victory speech repeats whilst spooning a Labrador. This combination of dehydration, exhaustion and furry cuddliness led me to a fascinating and weird dream.

I dreamt of Joe Lieberman.

In my dream, I won the CT lottery. The first thing I did was set up a trust for my kids (ever practical, even in dreams). The second thing I did was begin a "recall Joe" movement to recall Leiberdouche as my senator (pretty sure this is only possible in my dreams). I used my new found power and wealth to batter Joe and dominate the political discussion. The recall was successful and by popular demand, I was begged by my supporters to challenge Joe for his seat. I humbly accepted and began my campaign. I was universally beloved by republicans and democrats alike because of my sheer awesomeness. And when it came to the debate, I sliced and diced Joe like Inigo Montoya sliced and diced the six fingered man. I even made Joe Leiberman weep on television. (I'm pretty sure that last bit is a dreamy reflection on an AP history class in high school where, in recreating a debate from the 1796 presidential election, I made a girl cry - I was John Adams and I totally kicked ass.) I went to the Senate.

It was a cool dream. Unfortunately, I woke up, I was still not rich and Joe Lieberman was still my senator. Even worse, I felt like I had been hit like a truck, I was covered in yellow hairs and my dog was snoring.

I just had a terrifying thought

I was reading this post at Crooks and Liars. Once again a journalist that is actually in Iraq and has a real idea of what's going on is popping Sen. Joe Lieberman's neocon fantasy bubble.

SEN. JOSEPH LIEBERMAN (D), CONNECTICUT: The war is not lost in Iraq. In fact, now American Iraqi security forces are winning. The enemy is on the run in Iraq. But, here in — in Congress, in Washington, we seem to be, or some — some members seem to be on the run, chased, I fear, by public opinion polls.

COOPER: Is the enemy on the run in Iraq, Michael?

WARE: No, certainly not. And I think we need to be aware that it’s enemies. I mean, America doesn’t face just one opponent in this country, but a whole multitude, many of whom are becoming stronger, the longer the U.S. occupation here, or presence here, in Iraq continues. So, unfortunately, I’m afraid that Senator Lieberman has taken an excursion into fantasy.

I noted the "D" that the CNN transcript surreptitiously snuck next to Joe's name and thought to myself, "Joe Fucking Lieberman is no Democrat". Then, it occurred to me that he obviously once was a Democrat and was even the Democratic nominee for Vice President.

Then it hit me. Joe Fucking Lieberman. This Joe. Crazy neo-con Zealot Joe could be the Vice President of the United States right now. Even worse, he could be the next president. AGH!

Let's play this thought experiment out to its conclusion. Let's say we evaded the whole "Sore Loserman" escapade of a Supreme Court appointed president Bush. Gore would have been the president. Let's imagine that even if he did maintain the Clinton Era focus on Terrorism 9/11 would not have been avoided. I imagine that just like the country did around Bush, they'd rally around Gore (I suspect that many republicans would find it far more acceptable to criticize leadership in this scenario, however). The War in Afghanistan would probably have been prosecuted in the same manner. The War in Iraq would not have happened at all. Global Terror War would be fought and Gore would work to build alliances with other nations rather than go it alone. He'd have the same immediately high approval ratings as Bush and would win a second term. Without the failed escapade in Iraq to bog him down along with illegal wiretapping, gitmo and ludicrous domestic policies like gutting Social Security and immigration going over like lead balloons, there'd be little to wear away at the Gore Administrations approval but tedium over one party presidential rule.

The logical successor? Loyal Joe Lieberman.

So let's continue the thought experiment even further. What if Joe had won the election as President? Let's imagine that in the second Gore term North Korea and Iran were both making noise about nukes. What would President Joe do about that? We would be back in the same fucking boat. A neo-con president with a ton of goodwill to burn and who relishes fighting wars over seas. Right where we are now. Except that the one thing we have going for us is that the game clock is running out on the lame-duck Bush presidency, where Lying Joe Lieberman's would be just beginning. I don't think I could have lived through that.