No alarms and no surprises, please.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

I'm considering this banner ad

Whaddya think?


I've been too busy with real life to blog anything recently. And, I've even fallen way behind on memes. I was tagged by Toast with a booze meme. Here goes.

1. Beer, wine, liquor, mixed drinks. Rank 'em.

1. Beer
2. Liquor
3. Mixed drinks
4. Wine
That said, I'm a newb to wine.

2. How often do you drink?

Used to be a lot. Now, not so much. Once a week?

3. Favorite Scotch?

Again, I'm a newb to this, too. After asking Toast for a "scotch for dummies" Toast hooked me up with MacCallans Twelve Year single malt. I really like it.

4. Favorite Bourbon?

Maker's Mark is nice. I don't drink bourbon anymore much. I went through a bourbon phase in college and I found myself an angry drunk then. I guess I associate it with that.

5. Favorite tequila?

Patron XO cafe. It's coffee flavored patron. Fantastic in my coffee on Sunday Mornings. Other than that, I like Sauza Hornitos.

6. Favorite Gin?


7. Favorite Vodka?

Grey Goose. Half lemonade + half GG + loads of ice = fantastic hot summer day drink.

8. Favorite Rum?

Myers Dark. Love Rum and Diets...

9. Drunkest you've ever been?

As a wayyy too enthusiastic 17 year old freshman, I finished room golf at good ol' PSK in an hour and a half. Was carried home, puked everywhere in my room and lost control of my bodily functions. Good times! No, not really.

10. Red or White?

I say Red.

11. Best wine you've ever tasted?

Don't really know. I'm not much of a wine tasting guy.

12. Favorite type of wine?

Pinot Noir

13. Favorite every-day red?

I have an answer to one! Hahn Estates Cabernet Sauvignon. Very Drinkable.

14. Favorite every-day white?


15. Best value wine?

Hahn. What's the difference between everyday and value? Who wouldn't drink the value every day?

16. Do you drink box?

Nope. My beer comes in a box of bottles though.

17. Fastest you've ever gotten drunk?

Drank a bottle of Rebel Yell Bourbon before a fraternity party we were having. Loaded by 8PM. I was obnoxious to every woman in sight, slipped and did a split on a wet dance floor and I'm told I slid right back up to a standing position a la James Brown. Woke up the next morning having puked in my favorite Yankee hat and with a very sore groin.

18. Longest you've ever stayed drunk?

Five days. I went to Mardi Gras in 1997. We arrived on Friday and left on Ash Wednesday. I believe I spent more on alcohol than I did on my room and flight combined.

19. Ever do anything you really regret while drunk?

Of course. Drove home from a strip club once, don't remember it and woke up in my car covered in puke. That sucked.

20. Favorite lager?

Corona is the only lager I usually buy. I am fond of many pilsners, namely grolsch or Pislner Urquell.

21. Favorite IPA?

Dogfish Head 60-minute IPA. It's probably my favorite beer right now. But, Bass has been one of the main loves of my life for 20 years. When my folks lived in England, I dragged them to the Bass brewery for a tour. Love me some Bass.

22. Favorite brown ale?

I'm with Toast. Newcastle. I'm very fond of Dogfishhead's Brown. So, Chocolate-ey and delicious. But Newcastle is a true classic

23. Favorite doppelbock?

Don't have one.

24. Favorite Belgian?


25. Favorite stout?

Guinness. When I owned a bar, I used to say that Guiness, Bass and Sam Adams were the holy trinity of beers. One lager, one ale, one stout.

26. Favorite Winter Ale?

Sam Adams Winter Lager. I'm very excited when this comes out every year.

27. Favorite Scotch Ale?

McEwan's. It's far better than any other.

28. Favorite Other? (Because I realize this is getting abusive to non-beer-nerds.)

Magic Hat #9. Simply a great every-day drinking beer.

29. Favorite Brewery?

Magic Hat. Every beer they make is very good quality and they show a range that most brewers don't have. And their bottle caps have clever little messages.

30. Favorite mixed drink?

Rum and Diet Coke.

31. Favorite morning libation?

Mexican Coffee.

32. Do you suffer memory loss when you drink heavily?

When I drink heavily? Well, yeah. I don't often drink heavily enough that I don't remember, however.

33. Favorite place to drink?

Eli Cannon's Tap Room.

34. Favorite sports bar?

Toast and Tracy took me Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the Giants kick the Jets asses. I was in heaven. And Tracy was awesome enough to drink a whole 20 oz of Coors Light, just so I could take home a football shaped glass. I also like Hooters.

35. Ever consider AA?

Nope. Should I?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

This one's for you, Hillary.

side note: This song is also the ring tone of one particular person on my phone.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Just got a new iPod, with the last one's hard drive having crapped out after only 3 months. In celebration, here's a shuffled 13 out of the 7000 or so tracks on this little silver dude.

1) Gene - "Love Don't Work" Revelations
Damn, I need to listen to these guys more. Great BritPop band.

2) The Donnas - "Just take me to the backseat" Spend The Night
"Do you need a map?
Let's skip the nightcap
I'll make it sticky sweet
Just take me to the backseat!"

3) Soundgarden - "Mailman" Superunknown
"I know I'm headed for the bottom
But I'm riding you all the way"
Five extra points for the sweet, sweet bitterness in this tune.

4) RATT - "In Your Direction" Out Of The Cellar
Easily, one of my favorite 80's hair metal albums ever. I have listened to this album hundreds of times. Maybe a thousand.

5) Snoop Dogg - "Who Am I? (What's my name?)" Doggystyle
"Snoop Doggy, Do-owww-ohhhh-oggg (the bomb)
Snoop Doggy, Do-owww-ohhhh-oggg
Snoop Doggy, Do-owww-ohhhh-oggg (the bomb)
Snoop Doggy, Do-owww-ohhhh-oggg (Dog)
I bought his new album, but haven't cracked it yet.

6) Dixie Chicks - "Not Ready To Make Nice" Taking The Long Way
I saw the documentary "Shut Up And Sing" that covers the making of this album after the Natalie Maines said she was ashamed that Dubya was from Texas. Enjoyable little movie. Notable things I learned:
- Natalie Maines (lead singer) is married to Nathan Petrelli.
- Chad from RHCP plays drums on the record.
- Rock/Hip Hop icon Rick Rubin was consulted for the record and has a dog that looks just like him.

7) Travis - "paperclips" 12 Memories
"I don't wanna be like you anymore
I don't wanna see your face at my door
And I'll never leave like you, that's for sure"
Wow. This is wrist-slitting music. Hope the next tune picks up.

8) KISS - "Christine Sixteen" The Very Best of KISS
"She's' been around, but she's young and clean
I've got to have her, can't live without her, whoo no
Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen"
Uh.... well, it's peppy. Creepy, for sure, but Peppy.

9) Snoop Dogg - "Gz and Hustlas" Doggy Style
YAY IPOD RANDOMIZATION! 7000 songs, can't make 9 before an album overlap. At least it's an all-time great album that's being repeated.

10) Tyler Bates - "Xerxes' final offer" 300 Soundtrack

11) Notorious B.I.G. - "Living The Life" Duets: The Final Chapter
"Bitch, you crazy? Commitments, I'm Swayze
No time for the ill shit
Mess with the niggaz on that real blood spill shit
My rappin' tactics, are drastic
Stretchin' motherfuckers like Mr. Fantastic
So if you wanna see my Pedigree, you better be
filled with energy, niggaz never gettin' me"
One of my nicest benefits of separating from my ex? I am no longer held captive by her musical tastes and intolerance for mine (especially hiphop). Adios Garth-fucking-Brooks. Hello, B.I.G. BTW, third appearance by Snoop on this shuffle. He and Ludacris are on the track, too.

12) Modest Mouse - "Missed The Boat" We were dead before the ship even sank
"Everyone's unhappy
Everyone's ashamed
Well we all just got caught looking
At somebody else's page
Well nothing ever went
Quite exactly as we planned
Our ideas held no water
But we used them like a dam"
The official anthem of the Bush Administration. Very good album. One of my favorite guitarists, Johnny Marr, is on board.

13) The Donnas - "5 o'clock in the morning" Spend The Night
You know, when I picked this CD up in the bargain bin, I never imagined my ipod would be so fond of it.

I give this shuffle a b-. Too much The Donnas, for sure. Don't mind the Snoop repetition as much because he's fantastic.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Connecticut Beauty

I parked the car, grabbed my ipod and coffee and got out. I looked up at a crystal clear, breezy azure sky. I walked toward my office and as I drew near, I noticed something. A plastic white shopping bag was spinning in an eddy near a corner of the building. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

That's when I picked up the fucking bag and threw it in the garbage. I mean, seriously, who needs that shit? I had to go to work. Stupid fucking bag made me late.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Friday, May 09, 2008

Best Headline Ever?

"Great tits cope well with warming"

Let it be said that I have extremely warm hands and I'm quite available for said warming.


Dammit, I read Angelos, so I'm tagged.

1) Ten years ago I was...

Happily shacked up with my fiance who I am now in the process of divorcing. Wow, that's weird. Working with Toast and making almost nothing. Had a lot of fun at work, though. What a difference ten years makes.

2) Five things on today's to-do list:
a. Work on full text engine design
b. Buy Mom's cards for assorted Moms during lunch excursion
c. Hit the ATM
d. Leave a little early to facilitate...
e. ... taking the kids to the Circus!

3) Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:

Buy the NY Knicks as a fixer-upper with a prime location.
Unseat Joe Lieberman as Senator for the great state of Connecticut.
Have a band party with Iron Maiden in my backyard - complete with pyrotechnics.
End the barbaric practice of cat juggling.

4) Three bad habits:
Slacking on house cleaning.
Squeezing out a fart in the office.
Letting mail pile up in an amorphous blob on my counter.

5) Five places I've lived:
Pittsburgh, PA
Clinton, CT
Troy, NY
Mechanicsburg, PA
Branford, CT

Those are basically in order, although there's an extra Troy in between Mechanicsburg and Branford and more stuff after Branford.

6) Six jobs I've had in my life:

Cook at a seafood restaurant.
Bagger at Grocery Store (1 day, then I quit).
Assembler of Black and Decker WorkMates and True Temper wheelbarrows.
Co-Owner of a Pub.
Production Programmer, BOP Line of Business.
Senior Software Engineer.

Also in order.

I give this meme a C. I tag only my brother in the comments.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

I dream of Joe?

So, these two little outbreak monkeys I live with (they call me Dad) brought home a nice little ebola virus for me to wrestle with. A stomach bug. I spent Tuesday night expelling fluid from my body at an impressive rate and not sleeping at all. Then, after I managed to get my kids off to school Wednesday morning, I crawled back to bed. But, I was curious what was being said about the Obama-Clinton primary results. So, I put on MSNBC and drifted in and out of sleep to talking heads and dueling victory speech repeats whilst spooning a Labrador. This combination of dehydration, exhaustion and furry cuddliness led me to a fascinating and weird dream.

I dreamt of Joe Lieberman.

In my dream, I won the CT lottery. The first thing I did was set up a trust for my kids (ever practical, even in dreams). The second thing I did was begin a "recall Joe" movement to recall Leiberdouche as my senator (pretty sure this is only possible in my dreams). I used my new found power and wealth to batter Joe and dominate the political discussion. The recall was successful and by popular demand, I was begged by my supporters to challenge Joe for his seat. I humbly accepted and began my campaign. I was universally beloved by republicans and democrats alike because of my sheer awesomeness. And when it came to the debate, I sliced and diced Joe like Inigo Montoya sliced and diced the six fingered man. I even made Joe Leiberman weep on television. (I'm pretty sure that last bit is a dreamy reflection on an AP history class in high school where, in recreating a debate from the 1796 presidential election, I made a girl cry - I was John Adams and I totally kicked ass.) I went to the Senate.

It was a cool dream. Unfortunately, I woke up, I was still not rich and Joe Lieberman was still my senator. Even worse, I felt like I had been hit like a truck, I was covered in yellow hairs and my dog was snoring.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Top Ten Most Disappointing Democrats Since 2006

Well... Here we are. If it's Tuesday, there must be a primary going on somewhere. There's been so many of these goddamned things that I feel like a drunken roadie waking up on a tour bus wondering if this is Long Beach, CA or Sarasota, FL. We democrats have two candidates for the presidential nod remaining, right? It's been a while since I've seen anything about it on the news. If I recall correctly, one of them is a calculating, increasingly crazy person who will stop at nothing to win. And if memory serves, the other is a highly personable, intellectual and charismatic guy who appears to feel that he's above the down and dirty politics it will likely take to put his pugnacious opponent away. Despite their faults, both of them have policies far superior to John McCain's, who is quite loony. I'm told we face the most important election of our lifetime... well, at least since the last one. And both of our candidates are polling better than the McCain. And head to head, McCain's cranky geezer "don't bother me with facts, just trust me" demeanor is sure to hurt him next to their younger more passionate styles. We SHOULD be ok. Right? I should be fired up. Right?

I am fatigued. Check that. I'm fucking tired of this. I don't even want to flip on Olbermann tonight to watch him and Tweety project winners. I actually feel bad for the Daily Show writers who are probably watching Chris Walken in the Deer Hunter and comparing that to the prospect writing more jokes about primary season and thinking, "Hmm, that doesn't seem so bad".

It shouldn't be like this. This should be a year of crowning achievement of Liberalism over eight years of Bush. It's not. It's frankly, given where we were in 2006 this is a miserable failure. This is not to say that we're doomed or that a theoretical nominee won't win in November. But this is a mess and there should be a reckoning.

Being a Democrat today is a lot like being a Knick fan today. Each given a deck that should be stacked in their favor, but you simply can't believe how people can continually fuck it up. In 2006, we were riding high. Talk of winning the Presidency, both houses and a new contract with America were the rage. We had a new speaker of the house and surpris! it was a GILF-ish woman with nice cans for once, instead of a crusty old white guy. I was fired up. How the hell did we get here? I don't know, but I have a good idea of who's responsible.

So, I present to you the top ten most disappointing Democrats since 2006. To be clear, the disappointment is measured relative to the hopes I had for each person on the list. Some of here because of their actions. Some are here because they didn't act.

10) Russ Feingold - Really, I think it should be you here as the nominee. You have it all, a real fighters instinct, mid-western bonafides and an impressive track record of being totally fucking right. But, you decided to stay in the Senate saying you would be more effective at bringing about "change" from that position than campaigning from President. We all knew the truth was you were afraid of Hillary.

9) Nancy Pelosi - Frankly, she's done a pretty decent job and has actually forced the President to use his veto several times. And sure, there's a dumb trip to Syria and the mere fact that she's gay-friendly and from San Francisco to fire up the wingers. But the reason she's on this list is her endorsement. There isn't one yet and that's crazy man. (Fact check me here: I'm pretty sure I didn't miss that).

8) Al Gore - I understand why he didn't run. Really, I do. But, Al... dude...

7) Dennis Kucinich - I like Dennis. But, he's goofy both in policies and persona and that stuff rubs off on "liberals". What's really unfair about it is that the crazies on the right don't seem to stain "conservatives" the same way. Still, he got way to much pub for my taste.

6) George Stephanopolous - That fucking debate was total bullshit. I watched the War Room and thought, hey, here's a cool kind of democrat. On the right side of the issues, but not so wussy to be afraid to get dirty in the political arena. Now, I realize he's just like the rest of the core Clinton players. Cocky, arrogant, ruthless dicks.

5) Howard Dean - O RLY? This is what you do? You go from "yeaaarrrrggghhhh!!!!" to a DNC chairman who allows this debacle to happen? WTF, Howie? ARRGGHGHGGH!!!!!!

4) Harry Reid - Take the same basic criticisms of Pelosi for staying out of this stupid destructive primary and then compound it with easily the worst Senate leadership I could have imagined. I wish we could have a national recall vote on the bastard. Supposed to be a pugnacious fighter, he's been as soft and sweet as a daisy to the Bush Administration.

3) Bill Clinton - Know what? Fuck you, Bill Clinton. I shook your hand once and now I wish I had coughed up a loogie in it first. I defended the guy until my head hurt to every ditto-head-douchnozzle from here to ends of the internet and this is how he repays me (and the many others who did the same)? By being a red-faced Sancho Panza to his wife's Dame Quioxte? Fuck you, Bill.

2) Hillary Clinton - When the right painted her as a conniving, calculating machiavellian bitch, I had no idea how right they were. Sure, I'll vote for her over the loony old man if necessary. But I'm not gonna be able to defend her from the crazies on the right the way I did her husband. She's all the ambition of the man without the resume of competence, in my opinion. She's an example of the worst in politics. Her stated policies happen to agree with mine mostly, but I can't really support her against any credible Democrat.

1) Barack Obama - He's number one on this list because my expectations were sky high. On paper, he's like an NBA lottery pick with treeemendous upside. But, he's also like the one of those first round NBA draft picks who's used to softer zone defenses in college and then gets a few elbows in the mouth in the pros and loses his game.

-begin plea-

Barack. Dude It's time to come down off the ivory tower, get dirty and finish Hillary off. Politics has no place for a person who feels himself above politics. This should be easy for you. But while he's busy turning the other cheek, Hillary, McCain and apparently Rev Wright are having a fine old time beating the living shit out of you.

Americans want a president who won't drag the country down into the mud we've been in for the past 8 years. But we also want one who will stand and fight. You should be good at that. You're from Chicago, right? It's the Chicago way.

-end plea-

Now, go get it done, BO!

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Scattergories Meme

I've never played Scattergories, but Toast tagged everybody so here goes.
1. What is your name? Erik.
2. A four-letter word: Even (closest curse I could think of was Eat Me, but that's 5 letters and two words).
3. A vehicle: The mythical EV1.
4. A city: Edinburgh.
5. A boy's name: Ethan.
6. A girl's name: Emma - my daughter's name
7. Alcoholic drink: Egg Nog
8. An occupation: Electrician
9. Something you wear: I cheated and had to do some research. I couldn't think of anything that you wear that starts with E. I eventually found Espadrilles.
10. A celebrity:

11. A food: Escarole
12. Something found in a bathroom: electric hair dryer.
13. Reason for being late: "Why did you take your shoes off? We just put them on! I don't care you don't want to go to school. Put your coat on!"
14. Something you shout: Eek!
15. An animal: Elephant
16. A body part: Ear.

Having completed this meme and remaining relatively unmoved by it, I tag no one.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The NFL Champion Giants At The White House

This is the future

Damn, I need one of these right now.