No alarms and no surprises, please.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Joe Lieberman - Connecticut's biggest dick

Ok, I'll restate this. This is not a political blog. I've been intending to do a few posts about the stuff that I've been involved in, mostly my Disney World vacation and my descent into outsourcing hell. But this pissed me off to no fucking end. Go read it. I'll wait. But, be prepared to rinse your lunch off your keyboard. It's unbelievably awful. I'm nauseous.

I hate this man. Allow me to elaborate.

Joe says:
On this point, let there be no doubt: If Iraq descends into full-scale civil war, it will be a tremendous battlefield victory for al-Qaeda and Iran. Iraq is the central front in the global and regional war against Islamic extremism.

First Joe, let me say, fuck you. Second, let me note that Joe goes on to use Al Qaeda 7 times in the op-ed. 7 times. Joe, it wasn't Al-Qaeda. It is now, but it wasn't. Your fucking failed war attracted them to Iraq like flies to neo-con shit. It's that simple. To say we need to fight them there or we'll lose ignores the obvious truth that the whole escapade was a farce perpetrated on us by you, the Prez and his buddies. Using Al-Qaeda in an op-ed about the war in Iraq is not an innovative trick, in fact, it's one that's so common and has been debunked so many times, it's almost quaint. And that's what I find so appalling. You didn't even come up with anything new. You have to either be so fucking stupid that you think it will work, or you think you're above leveling with people. There's no reason to tell the truth, because there are no consequences. After all, you're still in office. Joe, we know you're not stupid.

The people listened to you when you said we needed to fight Iraq. They supported it far longer than they should have. Unfortunately, the people of Connecticut also listened to you when you said, just two months ago, that you thought we could start withdrawing troops soon. They voted for you (not me, I voted Lamont). Now, just two months after callously and cynically dangling our soldiers in front of us to get re-elected, you say we need to redouble our efforts in Iraq.


Fuck you.

Let me say that again, Fuck YOU.

Joe, you are a despicable liar. You lied to Connecticut. You lied to the U.S. I'm sure there will still be your defenders rallying behind you - those apologists who say you are sticking to what you believe. I think that too. Of course, we have a difference of opinion over exactly what you believe.

I think what you really believe is that you're the Prince of Connecticut. Ordained by birthright to be our Senator and unbound by the truth. We're here to serve Joe and his ego-fiefdom, not the other way around. Sell out the troops by dangling an early exit at election time? Sure, that calculus works fine in Joe's world. Not mine. Fuck you Joe.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Four more truths and a lie

Tracy complained (rightly) that I gave it away too easily the first time. Frankly, I didn't think anyone else was looking.... :)

So, here are some more, if you're inclined to guess.

1) I was arrested twice during college
2) I was an all-shoreline chorus member, representing my high school.
3) I applied to NYU Film school.
4) I was one of four white kids in my elementary school
5) I like George Michael.

Good luck guessers.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

One more blog meme... Four Truths and a Lie

I've been tagged

1) I skipped the third grade.
2) I played varsity football in high school.
3) I am related to a current NFL Head Coach and also had ancestors on the Mayflower.
4) I have never broken a bone in my body.
5) I got my first gray hair at 19.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Blog meme - Fifty questions.

50 Questions: (found from Toast's blog)

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

Damn, I need a haircut and there are hairs in my ears

2. How much cash do you have on you?


3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?


4. Favorite planet?

Earth rules and I'm ready to kick any martian's ass who says otherwise.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

I don't recognize the number... weird.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

"Clocks" by Coldplay. My kids say my phone is "singing the song from The Wild movie"

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Hawaiian Shirt (friday is dress-down day)

8. Do you label yourself?

Not usually.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?

Nike sneakers.

10. Bright or Dark Room?

Bright. except at work. I keep my cube dark. Easier on the eyes.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?

Toast is the man, now dog.

12. What does your watch look like?

Timex, metal, faux diver watch. Cheap.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping on my son's floor.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

That Toast had never done jury duty before.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?

Old Saybrook

16. What's a word that you say a lot?

No (I have two kids and two dogs)

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?


18. Last furry thing you touched?

Either Roxy, my yellow lab or Remy, my old fart mixed hound dog.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

Nose spray, sudafed, ibuprofen, alcohol, lisinopril, claritin.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?

I have two disposable cameras in a drawer.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?

27. The first year my wife and I were together. All sunshine and roses, no diapers and mortgages...

22. Your worst enemy?


23. What is your current desktop picture?

Windows Server 2003.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?

"I believe the issue is related to the fact that the creation of the AtalaImage object may be creating a new appdomain, and we're experiencing a crash trying to move the FContext object into that domain. We may need to do some custom serialization."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?


26. Do you like someone?

Yes. Duh.

27. The last song you listened to?

"Is it Any Wonder" Keane

28. What time of day were you born?

6 AM or so. Always been a morning person.

29. What’s your favorite number?


30. Where did you live in 1987?

Troy, New York.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?

Slightly jealous of the freedom that my non-kids-having friends have.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?

Only of my incredible foosball talent and NTN trivia ability.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

At work.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?


35. Do you consider yourself kind?

Not naturally, but in practice, yes.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?

On my ass, proclaiming, "place lips here"

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?


38. Would you move for the person you loved?


39. Are you touchy feely?


40. What’s your life motto?

Set the tone, don't follow it.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

A pen, watch, wallet.

42. What’s your favourite town/city?


43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

Two juiceboxes and apple dippers from McDs.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

I helped my daughter write a letter to Santa and we mailed it to the north pole.

45. Can you change the oil on a car?

If, by that, you mean take it to Jiffy Lube? Sure.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?

She kissed our kids and drove to work.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?

I have some ancestors who came over on the mayflower on my Mom's side. She even tracked down their grave sites...

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?

Went to a wedding of two anesthesiologists my wife works with. They rented a private home on the water in Madison that was on the market for 9 million bucks.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

I have a sinus headache and my lower back hurts because I spent part of the night on my son's floor. Apparently, he was under attack by monsters.

50. Have you been burned by love?


Monday, November 20, 2006

It's amazing what is considered news these days. vol 2

Democratic Scandal! I knew Democrats were as bad as Republicans... A Wal-Mart Critic's staffer trying to get a PS3?

Bastard John Edwards (not the creepy psychic, the other one)!

Here's my favorite line (from Wal-mart's press release):

"While the rest of America's working families are waiting patiently in line, Senator Edwards wants to cut to the front," the Wal-Mart statement said.

Yes, that was their press release. They're making this news. They're fighting back against all that Anti-Wal-Mart vibe. Poor guys. Good thing the AP isn't falling for this helping them out. Oops.

Funny News?

Here's what's great about the idea that Faux News is looking to come up with anti-daily show to the Daily Show. Let them try it. It'll never work. Why? They're not funny.

This is not to say that conservatives aren't funny. I know a few that are. But, there's nothing that can come out of an organization like Fox News that's funny. It just can't happen. You know what will be funny? Watching them *try* to be funny. And the Monica Jokes. That will be sweet.

Plus, the key mistake is to think that the Daily Show is about democratic politics. It's foolish to think that you even need a response to the daily show. They're not partisan. They're iconoclasts. And the icons for the last few years have all been Republicans. They don't make fun of policy. They make fun of hypocrites and idiots. It's not the Dems' fault that most of them have had a little "R" after their name.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

It's amazing what is considered news these days

Wal-Mart picks a side in the War on XMas. With the Walton bucks on their side, how can Bill O'Reilly not prevail? Time for us secular forces to circle the wagons. What time's the next meeting? I've lost my schedule.

Monday, October 30, 2006

60% of the time, it works every time

One of my favorite quotes from my favorite movies, this is now the motto of our application team. This is due to sketchy installs. When the install is successful (60% of the time), our product works. When the installs don't work, it doesn't work. A correlation could be made to the fact that our installs are outsourced, couldn't it?

Head On! Apply directly to your head, which may be found up yer ass.

Head On! Apply directly to the forehead. Or don't because it won't make a bit of difference. This wiki entry shows that there's barely anything in this product. If you buy this and rub it on your head, you might as well rub a candle on your head. Or anything really. It's a placebo. Incredible.

Of course, there are two sinus cavities in your forehead and maybe that's why it works... Or doesn't.

It might as well be Head-On, developed by the Hanso Foundation

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The genius of my four year old daughter, pt 1

My daughter is a special person. And like most parents, I really believe that's true. Luckily, in my case, it is. I think she has a kind of bright and glowing personality that others gravitate toward. And I really hope she never loses that. In fact, I'm going to try as hard as I can to ensure she doesn't.

Here's an example. She's funny. Here's what I consider her first real joke. She told it to me when I was tucking her in the other night:

Emma: Dad, I wish I had ten noses.
Me: Well, what would you do with ten noses if you had them? (of course as she's a little girl, I'm expecting something along the lines of 'Smell lots of flowers')
Emma: Pick them... (giggling)

See? Funny. Just like her parents. And so endeth another Dad's attempt to prove that his child is special. Of course, those other Dad's are fools, because my Emma really is. At least to me.

Monday, September 18, 2006

It's Beautiful

I can't decide what's better. The play by Eli to get the ball there under pressure, or the play by Plaxico Burress to make the catch. On second thought, I don't care. It's just beautiful

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Oh Fuck Me. We're screwed.

What's scarier than Bush behind the wheel of the hegemon, directed by neo-cons? Bush behind the wheel of the hegemon, directed by Jesus.

This ain't a political blog. There are enough of those. But I need to say something. It's time to seriously acknowledge that this war wasn't the creation of armchair neocon generals in Washington with a simple-minded view of the region out to secure our oil amidst the bonfire of democracy. I now believe that our president has entered us into a religious war and that he used WMDs and Saddam to get us crazy non-believers to go along with it.

I humbly refer you to my daily read, Froomkin's White House Briefing of August 4th, 2006. In it, Dan enumerates several examples of bible study and visits from apocalyptic prophecy experts, AT THE WHITE HOUSE. He gave the column the title, "What's the motivation?". That question has been answered for me.

Bush has many times expressed his sense that he was "called" to be the President. Could that have meant that God hates Social Security or the Death Tax?

Nope. I think it can mean only one thing. He wants to deplane from Air Force one just in time to greet Jesus at the Wailing Wall.

The scariest thing I've read in a long time

They just had something like this on one of the episodes of Stephen King's Nightmares and Dreamscapes. A dude gets bitten by snake while playing golf and they all think he's dead, when he's really just paralyzed. Then they're about to start the autopsy and.... Yikes.

This is expressly why I've told Mrs. Fridge that I need to be euthanized pronto, should something like this happen to me. I can't be trapped in the ol' noggin. No way.

I'm a frickin' genius. It really is iTV.

iTV is coming. What it really is when it gets, we'll have to wait and see.

Until then, the short explanation is that this is a doohickey you can connect to your TV that will stream video from a Mac or PC. It's apparently about the size of a paperback book. The key thing is that you will be able to purchase and download video from iTunes and play it on your TV instead of your itty-bitty iPod screen.

Not too shabby. Here's the rub:

"Apple’s new movies are delivered in a higher-resolution format than the television shows it now sells. The current videos are available in a 320-by-240-pixel format. Mr. Jobs went to great lengths to explain how the new movies and newly added TV content, at 640 by 480 pixels, will offer a substantial increase in visual clarity.

The movies will have lower resolution than commercial DVD’s, which are generally formatted at 720 by 480 pixels, however, and will take several hours to download at standard broadband data rates. "

Ok, I missed an episode of LOST, downloaded for 2 bucks and watched it on the laptop. That was kinda cool. I missed the last two episodes of 24 and downloaded them. Then I hooked up an S-Video connection to the laptop and it was kinda lousy picture quality. With many of the early adopter-types already having adopted HDTVs with much higher resolution (1024 and up), why would they want this? I don't see it.

Color me not so impressed.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Series 3 actually available.... Wow

Box details are here, as is the big price tag - $800! I guess I'll have to wait until the price comes down into the 500 dollar range.

One of the features that is there, but not talked about yet, because the latest version of the software doesn't yet support it (probably because of piracy concerns) is the SATA connection. This will ultimately allow the user to expand the storage of HD video by plugging in an external hard drive. Likely this is not yet available because TiVo is still negotiating the technology by which to do this. A Hollywood that props itself up with DVD sales can't just allow any old schmuck to take HD Video off his TiVo box. There will need to be DRM. But TiVo can be a leader in this arena because it has a population of dedicated early adopters.

CNet reviews the TiVo Series 3

The final rating? Excellent. The drawback? Wicked expensive. Damn.

Monday, September 11, 2006

iTV? No, how bout iCable? iSatellite?

Interesting article about how Apple still has yet to enter the TV fray and yet everyone is anxiously awaiting it, and even more importantly, expecting it.

I must say that I am a hard core TiVo guy. And many people compare them to Apple, primarily because both of them are seriously concerned with design. Whereas many companies will simply slap together a bunch of bits and cobble it together into a product, neither TiVo nor Apple will do so. They will not be rushed, and basically gamble their success on the ability to do better what they cannot do more quickly.

This leads to some agonizing waiting for those of us who love their products. For example, when TiVo came out with the Series2 Dual Tuner DVR, I was ecstatic. Finally, two shows at once! This is of course common functionality for CableCo DVRs but their software is gawd-awful. I can't stand it. Most of my friends have already made the leap to HDTV. Why have I not? I won't give up my TiVo. Series 3 is coming soon, though and will be the best yet.

Can Apple break into the TV Market? Maybe. If they do, they'll be entering a market that is cluttered with products and manufacturers. iPod succeeds because it created a market. iTunes, the same thing. But the TV market is much more like the PC market. A frontier-like open market where price beats product. This is one where a company like Dell can dominate a company like Apple that makes a better product. It's not Apple's strength to battle with Sony, Panasonic and the host of knockoffs sold at Wal-Mart.

So, when Jobs has his next dog and pony show here's hoping that he doesn't say they're building a Home Media PC. Or if they are, it's something so new and exciting that we can't even be sure it will work. That's what Apple does best. Please don't just give me iTivo.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Holy Crap... I will see this movie. I will.

I love Al. I have to say that I was really one of those political moderates that tried really hard to see both sides of every issue. That pretty much ended for me when the US Government spent 60 million dollars (or there abouts) investigating a blowjob. I soon after that discovered Al with his book Liars and have been with Al ever since with everything he does. I even gave out The Truth as Xmas gifts last year. Now this

Like all things Franken, I am there.

Borat is funny. He just is.

Via: VideoSift

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Voice Recognition

See, this dude's problem is that he needs to pick up the mouse and talk into it like Scotty in Star Trek 4. Still, any engineer knows this is a nightmare. The Demo Gone Awry. Having been to many of the Microsoft dog-and-pony shows and seen the somewhat precious self satisfaction with which they demonstrate their stuff, this makes me laugh.

Via: VideoSift

Hey Ya - a must see...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Attack of the killer golf course!

This is kinda scary and kinda cool. Apparently crazy grass scientists have let genetically engineered golf course grass, um, escape? So, now, it's spreading. Eventually, the whole world will be a golf course.

They tried to contain the engineered grass, but it had a fantastic plan. First, one of the blades pretended to be sick. Then, when one of the greenskeepers came to check in on them, they knocked him over the head and made a break for it.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

On Notice

This site that makes On Notice boards is making the rounds as the latest 'coolest site on the internet'. Here's mine. Thanks, Toast