No alarms and no surprises, please.

Monday, March 19, 2007

My babies are probably not gay: Not that there's anything wrong with that

A buddy of mine sent me this link. Is your baby gay?

Check out some excerpts.


Pity the poor fetus. There's a lot coming its way. And now there's talk on a conservative evangelical blog of a hypothetical hormone patch that an expectant mother might wear to eradicate her fetus's natural gayness.

The patch, the biological determinism: It's all conjecture, for now. But it hit like a theological IED when it turned up earlier this month on the blog of the Rev. R. Albert Mohler Jr., one of the leading voices of the 16 million-strong Southern Baptist Convention. He blogged on these issues under the appropriately provocative headline: "Is Your Baby Gay? What if You Could Know? What if You Could Do Something About It?"


A ridiculously offensive idea, of course. Why even address the moral and ethical absurdity of this "religious leader's" eugenics plan to cleanse the world of queers? It's bullshit on it's face. What's made obvious is that when these religious wackos try and apply science using their flawed and irrational base assumptions that a) God exists and b) he hates gays then you get this kind of despicable evil gobbledygook. It's utter nonsense and the idea that that this guy speaks for anyone, much less 16 million baptists is fucking terrifying.

Now, on the other hand, if we had a test and patch to determine if our kids were going to grow up to be Baptists... I might be interested.

I have two kids and my wife and I spoke openly about the possibility that one or both of them might be gay. We agreed that if that happens, it wouldn't matter a bit to us, but that we'd have to help them adjust to how it may affect how they are accepted by others.

In fact, having kids has completely crystallized my feelings about Gay Marriage. Before I had kids, I held a completely intellectually and ideologically based opinion that any two consenting adults should be allowed to marry, regardless of their gender. That position made the most logical and ethical sense to me. But, one day my daughter changed all of that for me. We were watching Cinderella (again!)and it was the near the end and she was excited. Her favorite part of the movie is when Cinderella and the Prince get married. "Here it comes!", she said. They kiss in the carriage. She loves it. I thought to myself, what if she were a lesbian? Would she be this excited about a 'civil union'? Probably not. And that's where intellect and ideology didn't quite cut it. If my daughter were a lesbian and she wanted to get married, then goddamn it, she should be allowed to. Same goes for my boy.

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I began this post saying that my babies probably aren't gay. Every parent certainly considers what their kids future is and at times you get glimpses in their every day behavior. Allow me to elaborate: As it seems it's genetic, my kids exhibit some behavior that I wouldn't expect from someone genetically predisposed to be a homosexual. Notably, there have been many times that my daughter has been so flirtatious with teenage boys that her Dad has envisioned needing to imprison her from ages 15-30. And there has been twice that my three year old son has been rendered mute and awestruck by the beauty of a little girl he was playing with. It's weird to see ayour boy stop playing with trains and have a "goofy love face" come over him. He got positively stalker-esque. And last and not least, there was something that happened in the bath this Saturday that caused Dad to step in and put an end to it immediately and then proceed directly to the kitchen to wash my eyes out with White Pepper and Clorox. I may never get over that and my eyes will never un-see it. So, my kids may not grow up to be gay, but growing up to be on Jerry Springer isn't out of the realm of possibility.