No alarms and no surprises, please.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Saint John Paul - Patron Saint of Mystic Bullshit

It's a miracle! Pope JP cured a nun! Very Convenient because there is that stickler of a miracle that's required to be promoted to Sainthood. Kind of a "graduate thesis project" to be done in the off-hours. I'm rooting for JP, since he's pretty much embodied Catholicism for most of my life. I'll be able to tell my grandkids that I saw Derek Jeter play before he made the Hall of Fame and I saw JP on TV before he made saint. Let's hope the veteran's committee doesn't pull a dick maneuver when JP comes up for a vote.

Here's what confuses me...

The 46-year-old, speaking in a clear, poised voice, said she was diagnosed with Parkinson's in 2001. Her symptoms worsened with time: Driving became practically impossible, she had difficulty walking, and her left arm hung limply at her side. She also could no longer bear to see John Paul on television, because he, too, was stricken — more seriously — with the disease.

Dude had the disease too and chose to cure her! Nice job! Voters like that! If it were me, I'd have used those magic powers on myself. But ladies and gentlemen, that's why I'll never be a saint like our man, JP. That, and because it's all complete mystical bullshit.