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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Worst. Announcer. Ever. (Examples)

When I posted that Suzyn Waldman was the worst announcer ever, my buddy Manny objected. "C'mon!", he said. "She's not THAT bad. Besides, I think she's kinda hot." Ok, I made that last sentence up. No one thinks she's hot.

So, I told Manny that I would chronicle her broadcasting shortcomings here. You see, my dream is that buzzingfridge makes the world a better place. More specifically, I hope it makes my world a better place. I'll start by fixing the Yankee radio broadcasts.

On my way to Jersey Mike's to grab some lunch and come back to the office, I of course turned on the WCBS 880 broadcast of today's Yankee day game. Please note, that round-trip total travel time to and from the sub shop is approximately 8-10 minutes. In this small sample, I heard these two doozies.

Example #1
Context: Discussing the Brad Wilkerson, who last night hit a homer off Mike Mussina.
Suzyn Says: "They had high hopes for Wilkerson when they traded Soriano for him. They were hoping he'd be a gritty, gutty, Laynce Nix-type player."
Why this is stupid:Interesting, because Nix was on the Rangers, too. In fact, they traded for Wilkerson, gave him Laynce Nix's position in center field, benched Nix and then traded him to Milwaukee. It's safe to assume that they were hoping for Wilkerson to be a BETTER player than Laynce Nix. In fact, he has been better if only because Laynce Nix sucks.

Example #2
Context: Discussing the Rangers team hitting woes.
Suzyn Says: "You can't expect them to stay like this. They'll be better than this. They have too many people on this team."
Why this is stupid:In fact, they have exactly the same number of people as every other team in the major leagues. There are rules about such things. Stupid.

And before you jump on me and say, "Well, she meant they have too many good hitters." She's paid to talk. This is not Bush saying "Misunderestimate" and it's ok because he's leading our righteous crusade against Islamofascists or Kate Winslet accidentally saying that Cameron Diaz "can literally eat her under a table" and it's ok because she got naked in Titanic. This isn't the charming eccentricity of Scooter Rizzuto ("Oh, you huckleberry!"). She's supposed to be a professional broadcaster. When she says things that are stupid, it's just annoying. And doubly so because she sounds like Fozzie Frickin' Bear.

Ten minutes in the car, 1 inning, two really stupid comments.