Chris Cornell, your new album is pretty terrible.

I'm not the only one who thinks so.

Damn, dude. What happened? In the words of Trent from Swingers, "You were so money!"

Album after album of good, sometimes great, tunes.

Now this. A few times, I looked at my iPod to make sure I wasn't accidentally listening to Seal. And what's with the Billie Jean cover? It's not a great song hiding behind the moonwalking and the sequined gloves. You did it simply because you thought your fantastic voice would make it great... simply because you could.

Damn. I was expecting Euphoria Morning, part II. Instead, I got Cracked Rear View II. WTF?

Maybe that's what you want. Is it? You know, settle into middle age, move to Branson, Missouri and build yourself a theater next to Yakov Smirnoff and wait for the soon-to-be-aging GenXers to pull up in their Winnebagos. But, man, I never thought you would. Shit.