No alarms and no surprises, please.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Rampant Steroid Speculation

I have long been bored with the never ending "steroids in baseball" story. However, at this point I'm ecstatic to talk about something other than where Johan Santana will end up.

Tomorrow, the Mitchell report will be released. The report will reportedly (heheh) name 60-80 former and current major league ball players. So now it's time for some wanton and reckless speculation - something of a specialty of mine. Here's the official Fridge Report of Steroid Speculation. The players are grouped into 3 categories - mortal locks, suspicious, shocking. There's also an implied 4th category - everyone else.

Let's go!

MORTAL LOCKS :
Jose Canseco
Barry Bonds
Rafael Palmeiro
David Segui (see how he got out in front of the report?)
Brett Boone
Brady Anderson
Jason Giambi
Jeremy Giambi
Mark McGwire
Sammy Sosa
Gary Sheffield
Jason Grimsley
Jeff Bagwell

Review: Not much here new. Most of these names have either already admitted doing it or no one thinks they DIDN'T do Steroids

SUSPICIOUS: (here's where it gets interesting)
Pudge Rodriguez - I feel pretty good given his somewhat anomalous power explosion during his time as a teammate with Palmeiro
Juan Gonzalez - see above
Todd Hundley - rarely named, but done deal, IMO.
Jason Varitek - Sudden spike in power followed by precipitous drop in power right around testing change. Just saying.
Big Papi - Cut by Minnesota to perennial MVP caliber hitter?
Cal Ripken - I know, I know, but at this point we need to scrutinize statistical outliers.
Roger Clemens - See Ripken, Cal.
Pedro Martinez - It's not unheard of for a little frail dude to throw a ball 97, but it's also pretty damn uncommon.
Paul O'Neill - He was a different hitter after after the trade to NY. Why? Was it Don Mattingly's influence? or the Juice?
Jeff Kent
Matt Williams
Miguel Tejada
David Wells - fat drunk who can throw forever? Or juicing?

Review:
These are the guys that I find suspicious. Actually, I don't think Paulie was doping at all, but I had to throw Sox fans a bone, since I named three Sox players.

SHOCKING: (Seeing these guys named would freak me out)

Derek Jeter - That would be unreal.
Mariano Rivera
Greg Maddux
Tom Glavine

Review:
Those guys would shock the living crap out of me. Especially Jeter. That would rock my world and baseball as well. He's so hallowed, not just by Yankee fans, but by baseball and the media in general. That would be truly mind bending.

That's my list. What do you think? Anyone I missed? Anyone I'm dead wrong about?