No alarms and no surprises, please.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Free Pass to Shag Meme

I've been tagged by Tracy with a salacious little meme. And just like that the blogging slumber is over. I've been pretty busy, both at work and at home. But I'm never too busy to objectify the ladies.

Here's the rules:

Which brings me to my Question - what five famous people would you want listed in the contract that your significant other had to forgive you if, you know, you just happened to meet them and you just happened to hit it off and they just happened to express interest in some hot, shallow monkey sex?

To be candid, I find myself without a significant other for the first time in 11 years or so. So I don't need a list. But this process is fun as hell. It is interesting to me that as I get older my taste in women ages with me. Unlike, say, Toast

In reverse, countdown-style order.

5) Linda Carter

Today is Linda's birthday - She's 57. Jesu-cristo look at that fucking picture. She was an unbelievably beautiful woman as I went through adolesence and she's forever etched into my brain. I watched Wonder Woman every week and I was in love with her. She's on this list at 57 and will be on it at 80. If it were 1981, she'd be #1 thru 5 on this list.

4) Rachel Weisz

Jeez. Smart. Beautiful. Hot British accent. I adored her in the Constant Gardner, Confidence, About a Boy. And as you can see, I would totally defy the Will of God and eat that apple to get with her.

3) Jennifer Connolly

She was beautiful at 16 in Labyrinth and she's still beautiful now. I almost had trouble watching "Little Children" (great movie, BTW) because she plays a wife who is cheated upon by her bored house husband. How the hell can anyone cheat on her?

2) Scarlett Johansson

One of these is not like the others. This is the only under-35 entry on my list. As I mentioned earlier, the age of the women that I find sexy has grown older with me. Also, I prefer brunettes. This is the exception. Beautiful and curvy. Beautiful face with intelligence in the eyes. Sexy voice. The entire package helps me get over the fact that she was 2 when I got my driver's license.

1) Jennifer Garner

In an alternate, more stalker-ish universe, Jennifer Garner and I are together. And she's a Yankee fan instead of having been Afflecked into Red Sox nation. And also I didn't knock her up just in time screw up the final season of Alias.

Seriously, though, she's gorgeous. She seems very cool and easy going. And something about the sweet Sydney Bristow side and the sexy bad-ass spy she played on Alias worked for me on just so many levels. There's just something about her that I really love. And I must truly be into her if I sat through Catch and Release on cable - twice.

Honorable mentions:
1) CT channel 8's Sonia Baghdaddy - she's the only reason I watch local news
2) Pam Anderson - one wild night in the gutter!
3) Cheryl Hines from Curb Your Enthusiasm
4) Kimberly Jones - Former NY Giant beat reporter now YES sideline reporter.
So, there ya go.
5) Marisa Tomei - never used to like her at her popularity peak, but she's positively MILFy now.
6) Catherine Zeta Jones