No alarms and no surprises, please.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

My son finally sees what he's up against

This weekend we were out and about and I took my two kids (Emma, 5 and Jonny, 3) to Burger King. Not for the food of course, but for the sweet kid habitrail they have for my kids to play in and so I could swipe their Simpsons toys for my desk at work (for the record, I got Apu and Barney).

When we got there, we made the all important bathroom stop. It was here that Jonny had a revelation.

We gathered in the giant handicapped stall so there'd be room for all of us. Jonny did his business, defiantly refusing any offers of assistance (he's three, you see). Then it was Emma's turn and it appears a lightbulb went on for my little guy.

After Emma sat on the toilet, here's what happened.

Jonny crouches down, looks at what Emma is doing and says, "WAIT A MINUTE! How come Emma doesn't have a penis!?!?!"

Emma laughed and said, "It's called a VA-GI-NA, Jonny"

"What the...??", Jonny said. (this is a verbal tic he picked up from his Dad, because the word that typically follows is a bit unseemly when said by a 3 year old. I put the breaks on right there)

"Yeah, JB, boys have penises, girls have vaginas...", I said.

Jonny slapped his forehead in an interesting mix of exasperation and resignation and said, "Oh Great..."

He didn't seem very happy about this at all. He hadn't seen anything he hadn't seen before, but it was like a new part of his brain was finally grasping the impact of what it all meant. It seemed as if he understood that this biological dichotomy was really gonna be a pain in the ass to deal with later on.

And I totally knew what he meant.