No alarms and no surprises, please.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


Some of you out there in the ether are aware that my iPod died. None of those particularly care, but I am here to bore you with the details.

On Xmas day, my son fell asleep in the car on the way to my brother-in-law's house because of the excessive strain of playing with the ridiculous bounty of toys bestowed upon him by Santa. Rather than wake him off and risk launching him into cranky 4 - year old mode, I just held him and figured that he'd eventually wake up from the chaos of all the cousins being in one house. Well, he woke up alright, but to our mutual surprise it was when he peed on both of us. My iPod was in my pocket.

Did you know there's no off switch on an iPod? Clever Apple bastards deemed it unnecessary and usually it is, unless you want to mitigate the risk of short circuits when something gets wet. Another great thing is having a removable battery. Without a power source, there can't be any short circuits. iPod doesn't have one of those either. So, I watched my little black buddy fry in silence as it imagined it was syncing with some urine laden PC.

So, that's the story of the death of my iPod. And yet, this turned out not to be unlucky tale of woe, but an excellent turn of events. See, I had randomly bought the extended warranty for my iPod at Best Buy. I never buy those things, but since I had gift cards saved up for the entire price and the idea of dropping a little hard drive was unnerving, I splurged on it. Lucky me! 50 dollar Extended Warranty + ambiguous explanation of problem ("I think the hard drive is dead" true, but not the complete truth) = 'free' upgrade to 80GB iPod Classic. Woo Hoo! I thanked my boy for peeing on me.

And that's how we get to the introductory Poddery Barn for this new little dude.

1) Marvin Gaye - "Heard it through the Grapevine" Very Best of Marvin Gaye
I do a kick-ass karaoke version of this.
2) Radiohead - "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi" In Rainbows
I am over my resentment of Radiohead for changing from being one of the greatest guitar bands ever to something else completely. This album is pretty damn good.
3) The Presidents of the United States of America - "Lump" The Presidents of the United States of America
"Lump lingered last in line for brains and the one she got was kinda rotten and insane"
4) Everclear - "Brown Eyed Girl" Songs From An American Movie vol 1
Lame cover, but this song always reminds me of my daughter, her mom and their brown eyes.
5) Coldplay - "Talk" X&Y
You know how I know I'm gay? Because I like coldplay.
6) Kanye West - "The Bounce/Two Words (Live)" The Graduate (mixtape album)
Free mixtape album that I found that's not bad. The second part they turn into an Iraq protest song. Good stuff.
7) Tenacious D - "Kielbasa" Tenacious D
"I love ya baby but all I can think about is
Kielbasa sausage, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,
My kielbasa sausage has just got to perform.
Now get it on!"
8) Longview - "Further" Mercury
These dudes kinda suck. On iPod notice.
9) Dean Martin - "If" Dino - The Essential Dean Martin
"If they made me a king I'd be but a slave for you
If I had everything I'd still be a slave for you
If I ruled the night
Stars and moon so bright
Still I'd turn for life to you"
It's a long way from Kielbasa sausage to this. I love Dino.
10) Ryan Adams - "City Rain, City Streets" Love is Hell, pt. 2
Adams gets my vote for "Best Songwriter Working Today".
11) The Feeling - "Strange" Twelve Stops and Home
Clean, shiny pop songs on this album.
12) Alice In Chains - "Would" MTV Unplugged: Alice In Chains
Damn, I love this song. One of the definitive songs of the 90s.
13) Crowded House - "I Feel Possessed" Temple Of Low Men
When this album came out, I was obsessed with it. I'm certain I annoyed the crap out of my neighbors with it back in the "penthouse" of the fraternity house.

There ya go! Damn good one for the new Pods virgin shuffle.