No alarms and no surprises, please.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

"dogs will always be inferior to cats."

So said Toast in the comments of my Poddery post("Uncle Toast" to my kids).

Frankly this perplexes me to no end. I think cats are just fine, but I don't see the appeal at all to having one in my house all the time. My daughter wants one, but thus far has only been able to explain this desire by saying, "They're pretty!" (she is 4, after all).

What is the appeal? Anyone know? Because when I look at a cat, I see the high school cheerleader of the animal kingdom. They preen and groom constantly and walk around with their noses in the air. They scoff at any human who foolishly thinks they might come over to say hello when being called. I just don't see it. Cat's are like a furry version of Paris Hilton.

Meanwhile, a dog does no such thing. Dogs are everything that a cat isn't: Friendly, Loyal and Useful. Indeed, a large part of the difference I see in that cats are not useful in anyway. Can a cat do any of these things?

  • Retrieve a bird you shot out of the sky?
  • Help a blind person across the street?
  • Find injured people in rubble after an earthquake?
  • Defeat a bear in mortal combat? (Old Yeller!)

    No. A cat can't do any of that. Of course not. They're just cute. They're like supermodels, only slightly smarter. Screw Cats.