No alarms and no surprises, please.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Movie Review - Blades of Glory

You may be wondering why I posted a photo of Pam from The Office for a review of a movie starring Will Ferrell. I did it because she's the only reason to watch this craptastic movie. To say it sucks is an insult to sucking. There's shit, utter shit and then there's Blades of Glory.

Pam, however, is called Katie in this movie and she's incredibly appealing in her Pam-ish appealing way. Then she puts on a bustier for one scene and she's appealing in another way. Yum.

Still, it's not enough to save this movie which is all premise and no punchlines. There's the obligatory cameo by a Wilson brother - I'll leave you in suspense regarding which one - but it's not a funny one. I laughed 3 times. The Two pairs skating routines from Heder and Ferrell and when Will Ferrell is skating with a touring kids show. Other than that, it was craptastic punchlines after craptastic plot twists on it's way to a craptastic denoument.

Why am I so bitter? Because they had me at "Will Ferrell". I love the guy. Frank the Tank and Ron Burgundy are classic comedy characters for me. His SNL days were gold. Even Talledega Nights was pretty good. Jon Heder is good too. Napoleon Dynamite is a unique classic, carried by him. This movie should be comedy gold, right? Still, my "this movie sucks spider sense" was tingling at the first trailer. Something was off. I couldn't even imagine the extent to how "off" it was. Strike One Will Ferrell! This is your "Harlem Nights". Couple more of these and I'll file you under "Eddie Murphy" and you'll be relegated to making the news when you solicit tranny prostitutes.

Please don't do that to me Will. I'm a bit vulnerable right now and I need you.

Rating: 1 out of 5 possible couches.*

* Why did I give any couches to a movie this craptastic? I did laugh three times and I'm one jaded mofo when it comes to comedy.