Please shoot me now...

We can all think back and recall how fucked up the 2000 presidential election was. It was it's own animal, filled with all kinds of bitter feelings on one side and sleazy machinations and in-you-face celebrations on the other. Let's put that election aside for a moment and talk about 2004.

I'm a smart guy. I was in the gifted and talented program as a kid. I skipped the third grade. I have a high IQ and probably haven't knocked too many points off it through the thousands of beers I've drunk in my life, or the many times in college that I skipped class entirely, opting instead for "Bridge and Bong Hits". I even managed to get a couple degrees in the process.

What I'm trying to say here is that there's a lot of stuff in this world that I understand. However, there's one thing that I definitely will never understand. And when I say never, I mean never, ever, fucking ever.

I will go to my grave never understanding how the people of the U.S. in 2004 looked at this complete idiot and said to themselves, "Yep. I want me 4 more years of that!" I would have voted for Richard Nixon's corpse before pulling a lever for that man.

This will always remain the greatest mystery of my lifetime.