No alarms and no surprises, please.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Surprise! Curt Schilling Sucks! Again!

When the ol' Google RSS Reader notifies me that Curt Schilling has graced the blogosphere with donut encrusted pearls of wisdom about his latest start, you know I click on over. His last start against Cleveland was outstanding. He goes into great length about re-discovering his split-fingered fastball. And believe me, my fantasy team is glad he did. He rocked.

But before expounding on that, he had some business to take care of.

First off two very important things to get out there.

Thank you to every man and woman serving in the Armed Forces of the United States. I thank God every day we live in a country founded on the principles and ethics that allow men and women like these people to live and WANT to serve here.

Second, Happy 10th Biirthday to my Daughter Gabby, and Happy 12th Birthday to my oldest son Gehrig!

The first part, I totally get. It was Memorial Day, after all, and that is a day to thank those who selflessly serve their country.

But the juxtaposition of this part,
live and WANT to serve here.
and this part
and Happy 12th Birthday to my oldest son Gehrig!
got me thinking.

See, it's not just his ridiculous sense of self-importance or his nickname of "red light" given for his love of the little red lights on TV cameras. It's not just his bible thumping mania or his hatred of the media members with out skill sets.

It's not this, which plastered my TV about 20 minutes after Curt was traded to the Sox for a pile of crap.

Or this, where he showed up at a Bruins game in a Bruins jersey and "Yankee Hater interlocking YH" hat (available at your local assholes-r-us) right after being traded and before he ever pitched in red, much less, bloody socks. Remember, this dude grew up in Arizona, went to high school and junior college there and pitched them to a World Championship before they shipped his annoying ass to Boston.

It's not that he wussed out on Capitol Hill in his testimony when it mattered and then hammered Barry Bonds because he felt like it.

Nope. The reason I hate the guy is that in
In 2004, he stumped for the Worst President Ever. Hot off his triumph over the Evil Empire, he went out and stumped for the biggest idiot without a village ever.
The Bush campaign immediately sensed a coup, shortly after Schilling closed his interview yesterday by telling GMA host Charles Gibson: "And make sure you tell everybody to vote, and vote Bush next week." The campaign posted Schilling's comments on its website and sent them out via blast e-mail to journalists all over the country.

The president called to thank Schilling, now a local hero after his two post-season performances in a bloody sock, covering a sutured ankle tendon that will require surgery to repair. Bush congratulated the pitcher and invited him to campaign with him today.

In fact, Curt even addressed this on 38Pitches, which is the only blog on the intertubes crappier than this one. Check out this rambling nonsense from a Q&A session.
Q-That being said, I have a bone to pick with you. I remember distinctly after the great ‘04 World Series win that you used the national publicity to campaign for George W. Bush’s presidential re-election bid.


Q-We were told by the Bush Administration that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction.


Q-We were told by the Bush Administration that Iraq had connections to Al Quaeda and was partly responsible for 9-11.


Q-We were told by the Bush Administration that Iraq was attempting to build nuclear weapons.


Q-We were told by the Bush Administration that Iraq posed an immediate threat to the safety of the United States.


Q-We were told that we would be greeted as liberators.

A-I don’t remember this one but ok.
Q-All of the reasons used to justify invasion were untruths.
As a result of the US-led invasion of the sovereign nation of Iraq, it is estimated that 600,000 Iraqis have been killed and over 3,200 Americans have been killed.

A-I was always of the opinion that any country harboring terrorists, and backing the murder of innocent men, women and children as well as having a government that imposed it’s will on people who chose to freely speak anti-government or differing religous viewpoints could not claim themselves a sovereign nation.

Q-As a Christian, do you regret your enthusiastic support for a man responsible for unjustified murder and bearing false witness? If you could go back in time, would you once again campaign for Bush?

A-No I don’t. I regret that thousands of Americans, and many other men and women from the NATO countries, as well as the hundreds of thousands of innocent men, women and children of Iraq have died as a result of the war. That I regret for anyone that’s had to pay that price. I also am proud as hell to know I live in a country that produces men and women who will travel around the world, because their government says so, to protect the freedoms and lives of people they don’t know. What other country on this planet has answered the call every single time since 1945? You can make claims that there are atrocities in Dafur and elsewhere that are more deserving and I am not sure you could argue against that in some cases, but the fact is that the U.S. took the baton after WWII to act as the worlds police force, when no one else could, or would, and has done so since then. Not perfectly and not without mistakes for sure, but we’ve done it. The U.S. could have fought a one front war in 1941 and ended the war in the pacific much sooner in my opinion, but we entered the european conflict for many reasons. Had we not done so we might be running around in a world where the primary language was German or Russian.

First of all, What the Fuck is he talking about? Second, what an asshole.

Self-promoting-A-hole, Johnny-come-lately-Yankee-Hater-And-Red-Sox-Nation-Darling AND right-wing-christian-Bush supporter? That moment is when I knew that Curt Schilling was the person that I hated most in the world. In the words of Marshall Mathers, he was put here on this earth to destroy me.

Given all that and Curt's ringing endorsement of the soldiers who WANT to fight and his son's 12th birthday note, I posted this on

Alas, the moderator didn't approve of my sentiment. I only hope that it's because he didn't want Gehrig to feel like he had to live up to his Dad's incoherent notion of US foreign policy when we're still in Iraq in 6 years.

I know what you're thinking. Why, Fridge? Why spend your time consumed with hatred for a millionaire Everquest nerd? Why parse the words of an idiot? Did I mention that he's seriously considering running for office when he's done with baseball? That it might even be in '08 for Senate in Massachusetts??

He must be stopped. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Schilling...
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
Bluto: LET'S DO IT!

I'm just the guy to do it.