Connecticut Beauty

I parked the car, grabbed my ipod and coffee and got out. I looked up at a crystal clear, breezy azure sky. I walked toward my office and as I drew near, I noticed something. A plastic white shopping bag was spinning in an eddy near a corner of the building. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

That's when I picked up the fucking bag and threw it in the garbage. I mean, seriously, who needs that shit? I had to go to work. Stupid fucking bag made me late.

Happy Mother's Day

via videosift.com

Best Headline Ever?

"Great tits cope well with warming"

Let it be said that I have extremely warm hands and I'm quite available for said warming.

Meme

Dammit, I read Angelos, so I'm tagged.

1) Ten years ago I was...
Happily shacked up with my fiance who I am now in the process of divorcing. Wow, that's weird. Working with Toast and making almost nothing. Had a lot of fun at work, though. What a difference ten years makes.

2) Five things on today's to-do list:
a. Work on full text engine design
b. Buy Mom's cards for assorted Moms during lunch excursion
c. Hit the ATM
d. Leave a little early to facilitate...
e. ... taking the kids to the Circus!


3) Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:
Buy the NY Knicks as a fixer-upper with a prime location.
Unseat Joe Lieberman as Senator for the great state of Connecticut.
Have a band party with Iron Maiden in my backyard - complete with pyrotechnics.
End the barbaric practice of cat juggling.


4) Three bad habits:
Slacking on house cleaning.
Squeezing out a fart in the office.
Letting mail pile up in an amorphous blob on my counter.

5) Five places I've lived:
Pittsburgh, PA
Clinton, CT
Troy, NY
Mechanicsburg, PA
Branford, CT

Those are basically in order, although there's an extra Troy in between Mechanicsburg and Branford and more stuff after Branford.


6) Six jobs I've had in my life:
Cook at a seafood restaurant.
Bagger at Grocery Store (1 day, then I quit).
Assembler of Black and Decker WorkMates and True Temper wheelbarrows.
Co-Owner of a Pub.
Production Programmer, BOP Line of Business.
Senior Software Engineer.

Also in order.


I give this meme a C. I tag only my brother in the comments.

I dream of Joe?

So, these two little outbreak monkeys I live with (they call me Dad) brought home a nice little ebola virus for me to wrestle with. A stomach bug. I spent Tuesday night expelling fluid from my body at an impressive rate and not sleeping at all. Then, after I managed to get my kids off to school Wednesday morning, I crawled back to bed. But, I was curious what was being said about the Obama-Clinton primary results. So, I put on MSNBC and drifted in and out of sleep to talking heads and dueling victory speech repeats whilst spooning a Labrador. This combination of dehydration, exhaustion and furry cuddliness led me to a fascinating and weird dream.

I dreamt of Joe Lieberman.

In my dream, I won the CT lottery. The first thing I did was set up a trust for my kids (ever practical, even in dreams). The second thing I did was begin a "recall Joe" movement to recall Leiberdouche as my senator (pretty sure this is only possible in my dreams). I used my new found power and wealth to batter Joe and dominate the political discussion. The recall was successful and by popular demand, I was begged by my supporters to challenge Joe for his seat. I humbly accepted and began my campaign. I was universally beloved by republicans and democrats alike because of my sheer awesomeness. And when it came to the debate, I sliced and diced Joe like Inigo Montoya sliced and diced the six fingered man. I even made Joe Leiberman weep on television. (I'm pretty sure that last bit is a dreamy reflection on an AP history class in high school where, in recreating a debate from the 1796 presidential election, I made a girl cry - I was John Adams and I totally kicked ass.) I went to the Senate.

It was a cool dream. Unfortunately, I woke up, I was still not rich and Joe Lieberman was still my senator. Even worse, I felt like I had been hit like a truck, I was covered in yellow hairs and my dog was snoring.

Top Ten Most Disappointing Democrats Since 2006

Well... Here we are. If it's Tuesday, there must be a primary going on somewhere. There's been so many of these goddamned things that I feel like a drunken roadie waking up on a tour bus wondering if this is Long Beach, CA or Sarasota, FL. We democrats have two candidates for the presidential nod remaining, right? It's been a while since I've seen anything about it on the news. If I recall correctly, one of them is a calculating, increasingly crazy person who will stop at nothing to win. And if memory serves, the other is a highly personable, intellectual and charismatic guy who appears to feel that he's above the down and dirty politics it will likely take to put his pugnacious opponent away. Despite their faults, both of them have policies far superior to John McCain's, who is quite loony. I'm told we face the most important election of our lifetime... well, at least since the last one. And both of our candidates are polling better than the McCain. And head to head, McCain's cranky geezer "don't bother me with facts, just trust me" demeanor is sure to hurt him next to their younger more passionate styles. We SHOULD be ok. Right? I should be fired up. Right?

I am fatigued. Check that. I'm fucking tired of this. I don't even want to flip on Olbermann tonight to watch him and Tweety project winners. I actually feel bad for the Daily Show writers who are probably watching Chris Walken in the Deer Hunter and comparing that to the prospect writing more jokes about primary season and thinking, "Hmm, that doesn't seem so bad".

It shouldn't be like this. This should be a year of crowning achievement of Liberalism over eight years of Bush. It's not. It's frankly, given where we were in 2006 this is a miserable failure. This is not to say that we're doomed or that a theoretical nominee won't win in November. But this is a mess and there should be a reckoning.

Being a Democrat today is a lot like being a Knick fan today. Each given a deck that should be stacked in their favor, but you simply can't believe how people can continually fuck it up. In 2006, we were riding high. Talk of winning the Presidency, both houses and a new contract with America were the rage. We had a new speaker of the house and surpris! it was a GILF-ish woman with nice cans for once, instead of a crusty old white guy. I was fired up. How the hell did we get here? I don't know, but I have a good idea of who's responsible.

So, I present to you the top ten most disappointing Democrats since 2006. To be clear, the disappointment is measured relative to the hopes I had for each person on the list. Some of here because of their actions. Some are here because they didn't act.

10) Russ Feingold - Really, I think it should be you here as the nominee. You have it all, a real fighters instinct, mid-western bonafides and an impressive track record of being totally fucking right. But, you decided to stay in the Senate saying you would be more effective at bringing about "change" from that position than campaigning from President. We all knew the truth was you were afraid of Hillary.

9) Nancy Pelosi - Frankly, she's done a pretty decent job and has actually forced the President to use his veto several times. And sure, there's a dumb trip to Syria and the mere fact that she's gay-friendly and from San Francisco to fire up the wingers. But the reason she's on this list is her endorsement. There isn't one yet and that's crazy man. (Fact check me here: I'm pretty sure I didn't miss that).

8) Al Gore - I understand why he didn't run. Really, I do. But, Al... dude...

7) Dennis Kucinich - I like Dennis. But, he's goofy both in policies and persona and that stuff rubs off on "liberals". What's really unfair about it is that the crazies on the right don't seem to stain "conservatives" the same way. Still, he got way to much pub for my taste.

6) George Stephanopolous - That fucking debate was total bullshit. I watched the War Room and thought, hey, here's a cool kind of democrat. On the right side of the issues, but not so wussy to be afraid to get dirty in the political arena. Now, I realize he's just like the rest of the core Clinton players. Cocky, arrogant, ruthless dicks.

5) Howard Dean - O RLY? This is what you do? You go from "yeaaarrrrggghhhh!!!!" to a DNC chairman who allows this debacle to happen? WTF, Howie? ARRGGHGHGGH!!!!!!

4) Harry Reid - Take the same basic criticisms of Pelosi for staying out of this stupid destructive primary and then compound it with easily the worst Senate leadership I could have imagined. I wish we could have a national recall vote on the bastard. Supposed to be a pugnacious fighter, he's been as soft and sweet as a daisy to the Bush Administration.

3) Bill Clinton - Know what? Fuck you, Bill Clinton. I shook your hand once and now I wish I had coughed up a loogie in it first. I defended the guy until my head hurt to every ditto-head-douchnozzle from here to ends of the internet and this is how he repays me (and the many others who did the same)? By being a red-faced Sancho Panza to his wife's Dame Quioxte? Fuck you, Bill.

2) Hillary Clinton - When the right painted her as a conniving, calculating machiavellian bitch, I had no idea how right they were. Sure, I'll vote for her over the loony old man if necessary. But I'm not gonna be able to defend her from the crazies on the right the way I did her husband. She's all the ambition of the man without the resume of competence, in my opinion. She's an example of the worst in politics. Her stated policies happen to agree with mine mostly, but I can't really support her against any credible Democrat.

1) Barack Obama - He's number one on this list because my expectations were sky high. On paper, he's like an NBA lottery pick with treeemendous upside. But, he's also like the one of those first round NBA draft picks who's used to softer zone defenses in college and then gets a few elbows in the mouth in the pros and loses his game.

-begin plea-

Barack. Dude It's time to come down off the ivory tower, get dirty and finish Hillary off. Politics has no place for a person who feels himself above politics. This should be easy for you. But while he's busy turning the other cheek, Hillary, McCain and apparently Rev Wright are having a fine old time beating the living shit out of you.

Americans want a president who won't drag the country down into the mud we've been in for the past 8 years. But we also want one who will stand and fight. You should be good at that. You're from Chicago, right? It's the Chicago way.


-end plea-

Now, go get it done, BO!

Scattergories Meme

I've never played Scattergories, but Toast tagged everybody so here goes.
1. What is your name? Erik.
2. A four-letter word: Even (closest curse I could think of was Eat Me, but that's 5 letters and two words).
3. A vehicle: The mythical EV1.
4. A city: Edinburgh.
5. A boy's name: Ethan.
6. A girl's name: Emma - my daughter's name
7. Alcoholic drink: Egg Nog
8. An occupation: Electrician
9. Something you wear: I cheated and had to do some research. I couldn't think of anything that you wear that starts with E. I eventually found Espadrilles.
10. A celebrity:

11. A food: Escarole
12. Something found in a bathroom: electric hair dryer.
13. Reason for being late: "Why did you take your shoes off? We just put them on! I don't care you don't want to go to school. Put your coat on!"
14. Something you shout: Eek!
15. An animal: Elephant
16. A body part: Ear.

Having completed this meme and remaining relatively unmoved by it, I tag no one.

The NFL Champion Giants At The White House

This is the future

Damn, I need one of these right now.

You cannot stop the Bear Grylls Post

You can only hope to contain it.

Little did I know when I whipped up an MS paint thought bubble over a hunky picture of Bear Grylls that this would be the post that would drive the most users to this blog. Yep, this is my most famous post.

In the months that followed, comments from the Bear Grylls Fanclub bubbled up on the blog pretty steadily at the rate of about 1 crazy person every two weeks. Here are the best ones.

FUCK... YOU... FUCKTARD. you obviously dont understand anything he does, try doing ONE of the things he does, any one. furthermore, do you think you'd do so good in a situation that he goes into, without the stuff you learn from hi. oh, and nice photo shopping, kudos to the 9 year old that did a speech bubble in paint

I'm not nine, I'm 38, but thanks.

You dont be hatin my bear grylls because you couldnt do half the shit he does.........he climbed everest bitch..........you probably live with your parents in the basement you dumb fag go eat a zebra wait bear already did that... boner jockey

Go eat a zebra?

I LOVE BEAR GRYLLS. hes awsom eand has a hilairiouse personality.

Even Bear Grylls couldn't fix this spelling. Not even if he parachuted into a library with only a Webster's Dictionary and Roget's Thesaurus.

Okay yes its true Bear did fake it, but why don;t you try and have a family while going out every other week to shoot your self surviving. I still watch his show for tips.
YourMom | 04.28.08 - 7:05 pm |

Mom? You too?

Well, since new episodes of our favorite show start on May 2nd, I thought it might be a good idea to revisit why Bear Grylls sucks.

Item #1
See how clever editing makes Bear look like he's n the middle of nowhere when really he's a short walk from a busy road.


Item #2
See how they shoot one episode in the same place they shot Jurassic Park. Stick around to the end to see the terrible wild Infants of Hawaii! Incredibly dangerous beasties!


Item #3
See the lengths they go to in order to fake things. Fake built rafts, dudes in bear suits and even buying a rabbit just to pretend he caught it, kill it and eat it. This last one is the most devastating, IMO.


Given all this, I would like to declare that the official survival expert of BuzzingFridge is Les Stroud of Survivorman. He doesn't have a crew. He's a filmmaker, too and sets up all his cameras himself. No assistance and so far, no cheating. Suck on that, Bear Grylls!

Super Bling

For your viewing pleasure. And yes, I had a very nice time yesterday with a bunch of Pats fans, thanks for asking.

My Gift To You

Er, um, well... Wired's gift to you - Top 10 April Fool's Pranks for Nerds.

I just pulled #4 on a co-worker.

4. Optical Mouse Confusion This is an update of the old mouse-ball-removal trick: A small piece of tape over the laser sensor on an optical mouse will cause it to go haywire. Just color the nonstick side of the tape with a Sharpie and then tape it over the lens.

A Wired.com reader last year reported that someone at a major tech company (it rhymes with 'Frisco') was fooled by this trick four times in a single day. Sometimes the simplest pranks are the most enjoyable.

Might have screwed up his day, but I loved it. I'm gonna do it again to someone else. In other related news, they may find my corpse in a ditch later today.

And if you really hate your co-workers, open this image full screen on their pc.



Once they realize their monitor's not cracked, they'll thank you for showing them how futile it is to be attached to earthly possessions.

Thursday List of Top 5 Things that Suck

New feature. A weekly list of things that I run across that makes me think, "wow, that really sucks". Items listed in reverse order of suckiness.

5) Dancing with the Stars - Sorry Toast. This show is ridiculous. No TV show should be built around Penn (of Penn and Teller) dancing a cha cha. Or Adam Corolla. It's unwatchably stupid. The ballroom chicks are ridiculously hot, too, so I keep trying to watch it but can't

4) The New York Knicks - They've sucked for a long time but now they've entered the the home stretch that emphasizes the lamest part of the NBA - tanking games to climb the in the lottery. The NBA is the one league where having a high lottery pick really can change the face of the franchise. So the not-so-secret effort to lose games is in full force. At least it looks like they'll have a new GM to make that pick.

3) Jay Leno - Furious, Tart and Angelos agree.

2) George Fucking Will - He'd love to think that he's William F. Buckley's heir apparent to the mantle of right-wing pretentious pedant, but he's really just a dickhead.

1) Hillary Clinton - and she's gonna stay in the #1 spot until she sobers up and drops out of the race. Because this shit is ridiculous.

Top 5 Reasons it sucks to be an Engineering Student

From Wired's Science blog.

5. Awful Textbooks
Thick, dry, black and white manuscripts are rarely a source of inspiration and sometimes can cause loads of confusion. Often, the text is poorly written and interrupted by lengthy equations with symbols that are different from those used by the professor during lectures.

4. Professors are Rarely Encouraging
During each class, a professor that would rather be tending to his research will waltz up to a blackboard or overhead projector and scribble out equations for an hour without uttering a single sentence to create some excitement.

3. Dearth of Quality Counseling
College students may not have a sense for how to build their resume and they might be clueless about the variety of career opportunities that await them. Unfortunately, some academic advisers do little more than post fliers about internships and hand out a checklist of classes to take. They should make some projections about the future job market, learn about the interests of each young scholar, and offer them tailored advice for how to best prepare themselves.

2. Other Disciplines Have Inflated Grades
Brilliant engineering students may earn surprisingly low grades while slackers in other departments score straight As for writing book reports and throwing together papers about their favorite zombie films.

Some professors view undergraduate education as a type of natural selection, but their analogy is flawed. Many of the brightest students may struggle while mediocre scholars can earn top scores because they have a larger group of supportive friends to or more time to dedicate to studying.

1. Every Assignment Feels the Same
Nearly every homework assignment and test question is a math problem. Only a few courses require creativity or offer hands on experience.

Every one of these rings true for me. The core engineering curriculum (at least as it was in the 80's at RPI) is designed to batter your brain into a particular mode of thinking that's particularly useful when solving engineering problems. The thing is that it's stifling. For ninety percent of the questions you are asked, there is but one correct answer. What is the fun in that? It breeds orthodoxy in thought and I despised that. It's repetitive. I can remember thinking several times, "this is the same class I took last semester. Only the crib sheet of equations I get to take to the exam has changed."

The teachers can be awful. With regards to #'s 4 and 5, I recall one professor that stands out. His name was Marcelo Crespo Da Silva - Machine Dynamics. He seemed to hate us, well not me in particular. He liked me. Seemed to hate almost everyone else.

Reason #5 mentions bad text books. This "textbook" was probably the cheapest textbook I ever bought. I think it cost $15 bucks but I had to go to the copy department of the library, not the bookstore to get it. That's because it was a bound copy of Crespo Da Silva's long-hand written text and hand written drawings. The dude's handwriting was damn near impossible to read and the drawings were shit. The book was worthless. See, ol' Crespo couldn't get it finished and published in time. So we used his notes. Terrible.

Reason #4 is that professors are discouraging. Well, I'll never forget the day that Crespo walked into the class and said, "How many of you are second semester seniors?" About 2/3 the class raised their hands. He followed by saying, "That's very dissapointing. First, it's disappointing that we can produce engineers that cannot understand this material at a basic level. Second, I'm disappointed that I can't give you the failing grades you deserve because too many of you would fail and it might impact graduation." Not the most nurturing environment.

Note that this is not to say that other disciplines don't have tough/distant teachers. But, in as much as Engineers in general trend toward lacking social graces, their professors can be doubly so. The core curriculum is seen as a necessary evil or a bridge that must be crossed. It's too bad, because while they're beating this stuff into kids heads they're stifling creativity.

It certainly did me. Eventually, I had a meltdown, stopped going to class before I finally withdrew and went home. I felt that "I wasn't an engineer. It's just that I'm cursed because I'm so damn good at it." I worked in a restaurant. Then a factory. Then a pragmatic desire for good pay sent me back to school to finish the engineering degree. Still, I sneered at my chosen profession. When I graduated, I blew it off entirely and opened a bar with my Dad.

It wasn't until I jumped on the 90's computer bandwagon, which became the dot-com explosion that I really became an engineer in practice. It's not at all like engineering school. I can be creative and do my job, in fact, the results are far better when I do. There are a hundred different choices in solving a complex problem and there is no single "right answer" (of course, some answers I prefer greatly to others). Even so, it took many years for me to understand that I really AM an engineer and I'm not be disappointed in that. I'm an excellent engineer. I like being an engineer. I never would have imagined that during my junior year at RPI. That's too bad.

Sunday Morning Potpourri

Man, life is a funny, funny thing. It's Easter Sunday Morning and my kids are 10 minutes away in a small house with their Mom and her deadbeat boyfriend. This, of course, should make me sad, no? Why doesn't it. Why is it that I'm cruising around my house, listening to my "Sunday AM" playlist and dancing with my labrador (not exactly. But, when I get my groove on, she gets excited and hops up and down)? I mean, just a few posts ago, I was whinin' like a wussy to you folks (Nice job, BTW). What's on tap for today? A little blogging, going into my office to wrap up some stuff and then back home for some laundry, slippers, beer and taxes. Why the hell would I be excited about that? Dunno. But today, life feels good.

So, here's a Sunday AM, feeling happy, brain and link dump.

Ok, someone needs to shake the shit out of Hillary and tell her that her campaign has reached a quixotic pinnacle of futility and it's time for her to step aside. I'm totally available for such a gig.

LOST hurts my head. I love it truly, deeply and completely, but it hurts my head. That bad dude is gay? Michael keeps having visions of Libby? Who the hell sniped those folks at the end?

Kinetic Typography

Lye


Nobody fucks with the Jesus


I am merely remarking on the paradox of asking a masked man who he is


Inward Singing


What?

P-Krug says "I was right, bitchez"

Ok, let's say, hypothetically you're going through a divorce. Then let's say you're maybe a bit lonely around Valentine's Day. So, ok, you may breakdown and sign up for eharmony, because they pummel you with those insipid commercials with disgustingly happy people that make you sneer (when secretly, being disgustingly happy seems surprisingly appealing). Ok. Let's say all that happens. This is what will follow. You're fucking inbox will be spammed with approximately a googol of matches(remember that 'googol' is a number? This was before Google hi-jacked it and Googolplex, misspelled it and decided to take over the earth). These ridiculously numerous matches will do two things: They will fist undercut the key marketing differentiator of "matching on 30 something different criteria" - can there be instantly 30 something matches for a person on 40-whatever levels? Bah! You will call "bullshit"! and b) they will reduce you to a gelatinous glob curled in the fetal position, hiding from your gmail and quietly whispering "mommy..." You see, you're not ready for this. Not at all. You have shit to take care of. A lot of shit. It's shit that's best handled in a nice, neat, engineering-style linear fashion. You're lining up this shit that you have to do into nice manageable shitty dominoes that will fall predictably one after the other until all the shit is done. You can't actually be considering dating someone before you take care of all that shit, can you? Of course not. But, the matches won't stop. There's no respite. They keep matching and matching until you spend an hour plumbing the depths of the site looking for the goddamn "off" switch. You'll find it and sigh in relief, but it's not over yet. You'll get emails saying "Pricilla in Darien requests communication". Ack! What does that even mean? You'll pretend it didn't happen because when in doubt what you did in 5th grade still works great today. Then someone who "requested communication" will "nudge" you. This will be terrifying. Because it doesn't just mean that they randomly clicked matches and said, "wtf, lemme request some communication from this dork". They went back, took a second look and said, "Dude. I requested some communication from you and you blew me off. What the hell?" You'll waver. You'll look at their profile. Maybe they're a bit interesting. Maybe they really could be ok with all the shit you have to do and you would have enough left over to share with them. But, you'll know that you really won't have enough to do both. You know yourself and will realize that you're really better off starting this kind of stuff when you have time to really spend on it. And right now you won't. I mean, maybe it's Easter Sunday for godssake and maybe you're going into work, even if there's a significant chance you'll get canned on Monday. But, perhaps the fact remains that your last relationship suffered in part because you decided to put too many priorities ahead of it. You won't want to do that again. So, you'll keep your focus on your dominoes of shit to do.

Just a fair warning, people. That's what's gonna happen.

This is what makes South Park one of the greatest shows ever. Can a show be disgusting, chilling, funny and a biting social commentary? Yes it can.

I could probably give you seven minutes

if you don't move around too much...

Because we love Memes

Tart and Chemist have memes people. They're not prolific taggers, but I've never been one to be to shy to invite myself to a party.

First up, found at Tart's (via Kona) is a middle name meme . As usual, it begins with rules:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don’t have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother’s maiden name).
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged.)

J ay-z has been dominating my iPod for a few weeks now.

O f course I'd be forced to sell my house when the market is collapsing.

H enry is my Dad's middle name and his Dad's first name. John is my middle name and my Dad's first name. Erik is my son's middle name and my first name. Son, don't you screw up the roll we're on!

N asal passages. Mine are narrow and I get plugged up in the winter with colds and in the winter and allergies in the summer. Dammit.

There you go. The rules say I should tag 4, but this meme ain't that cool. Play if you want to.

Next, Chemist posts 15 things he's done that maybe we haven't. (Note url of link says 14. I'm confused).

The original post he links to has just 10 things. So, I get the idea that 15 isn't required. Good thing because I don't think I can come up with 15(or 14 things for that matter).

Here goes:
1) I skipped the third grade.
2) Until 4th grade I was one of four white kids at a predominately black school.
3) I once shook hands with three people at one political rally at a truck stop in Pennsylvania who either were or would eventually be running for president.
4) For part of my college life, going "home" for holidays meant hopping on a British Airways with flight attendants with the smokin' hot british accents and going to the UK.
5) I once saw a man running down the street in the nude firing a handgun.
6) I was once arrested for for disorderly conduct for "failure to disperse". Note: the semantics of a police report will not get you out of paying a fine.
7) I once made a girl cry during a re-enactment of the John Adams - Thomas Jefferson presidential debates. I was Adams and she was pwned.
8) As a kid, I had a dog named Boner.
9) I got into every college I applied to, meaning I got shitty advice from my high school that I took.
10) I've never broken a bone. Ligaments, cartilage and muscles? Not so lucky.

had to stretch there for #10. Again, feel free to meme if you want to.

Evil Empire Extends Squid-Like Tentacles to engulf NCAA team

That's what Yankee haters might say about today. Of course, in reality, the Yankees did a nice thing today in bringing the entire team of starters (minus Matsui) to play an exhibition with Virginia Tech.

In addition to this, evil George Steinbrenner donated a million dollars to the Hokies Memorial Spirit fund. Damn Yankees.

FYI, Games being streamed for free at MLB.TV.

Good Job Yankees. And kudos to the Boss for writing the big check.

This Blog Sucks

Seriously. It does. Especially recently as I've had little time nor ideas to share with anyone who randomly falls down a hole in the internet and ends up here. What have I been doing?

1) Getting a Divorce - This is a major pain in the ass. It's far harder to get a divorce than get married. Logic says it should be the other way around.

2) Putting one of my dogs to sleep - Again, this sucked. Never actually did this before. At age 13, he was slowly declined and then all of a sudden, he began to decline very rapidly. I could handle the shaky arthritic back half, the vomiting and the accidents in the house. But, he began to de-compensate mentally. Cognitive dysfunction, the vet said, which basically meant he got increasingly senile and anxious. He was often disoriented and panicky. He really only calmed down when I was there. It got to the point where I was concerned for my kids and my other dog and realized that it was time. I miss you, buddy.

3) Chaos at work - can't elaborate because my co-workers discovered this blog. Hey, there co-working folks! See you guys at the coffee machine!

4) Planning the future for Fridge Infrastructure 2.0. Item #1 has caused a need for rebuilding. There's much to be done. More on this later (maybe?).

So that's what I've been focusing on. As such, nothing original or interesting to share with you peeps (not that I had much before). Didn't even get to the enormous "anatomy of a championship team" roster analysis post I had planned for the Giants or a review of my Yankee off-season plans versus what actually happened. Probably never will.

Anyway, people. That's my lame-ass excuse for not posting. What's yours for continuing to show up here?

This meme is awesome

Now, here's a great meme. Manuel tagged me and I am happy to comply.

Instructions: Look up 15 of your favorite films on IMDb and take a quote from each. List them below. When someone guesses the quote correctly, cross it off the list. Leave a comment with your answers. And NO CHEATING.

Excellent! I love movie quotes. Here we go!

1) To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women. (chemist)

2) There's something out there. That... that witch in the cellar is only part of it. It lives... out in those woods, in the dark... something... something that's come back from the dead. (Mike)

3) Tell me, who was it you left me for? Was it Laszlo, or were there others in between? Or - aren't you the kind that tells? (VMH)

4) Greetings from The Humungus! The Lord Humungus! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla! (Toast)

5) You don't seem to want to accept the fact you're dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. (chemist)

6) We'd better get back, 'cause it'll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night... mostly. (manuel)

7) Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants? (Angelos)

8) You see, I have no intentions of breaking down her prejudices. I want her to believe in God and virtue and the sanctity of marriage, and still not be able to stop herself. I want the pleasure of watching her betray everything that is most important to her. Surely you can understand that. I thought betrayal was your favorite word. (manuel)

9) Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos. (chemist)

10) I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

11) I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I'm very hungry! (manuel)

12) I drink your milkshake! (chemist)

13) Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist,I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline. (Tart)

14) Bitch, you don't have a future. (chemist)

15) I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final, you know. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. (Mike)

I tag: Toast, Senor Furious, All three of the Howards,
Angelos, Chemist and Tart.

UPDATE: Thanks for playing! Mike finished it off at 6:35 AM ET Best. Meme. Ever.