Fridge posts from his iPhone

Testing one.... two..... three!

My kids are funny, vol. 12984

Read on as I, an evil Dad, make both my kids cry and yet get a good laugh out of it. I tried to be as faithful as possible to the actual events and dialog.

Saturday Afternoon:
[Int. Fridge's kitchen]

Fridge is on the phone

Jonny (running in to the room): Dad! Daddy! Guess What!!
Fridge: (to person on phone) Can you hold on a minute? (back to Jonny) JB, you have to say excuse me when you interrupt someone....
Jonny: Daddy! Excuse me! I need to tell you something.
Fridge: ... and you know that it's rude to interrupt when they're talking on the phone. You have to wait until Daddy is done.
Jonny: But Daddy! I need to tell you something!
Fridge: Is it an emergency?
Jonny: well... no... but I need to tell you something!
Fridge: Jonny, it's gonna have to wait till I'm done on the phone, buddy.
Jonny: But, daddy! I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!

Jonny throws himself to the ground and writhes in the agony of injustice

Fridge (to person on phone): I'm afraid I'll have to call you back. We're having a meltdown.
Fridge (to JB, who is apoplectic): Ok, JB. You're gonna have to sit at the bottom of the stairs until you've calmed down.
Jonny: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!! Daddy, I have to TELL YOU SOOOOOOMMEEETHIIIIINNG!!!!!

Five minutes of carefully orchestrated histrionics at the bottom of the stairs follow. Eventually, Jonny calms down

Fridge: Ok, Jonny. Come over here please. You know that you can't interrupt people on the phone. It's rude, right?
Jonny: Yes Daddy. [wiping tears] I know. I'm sorry.
Fridge: It's ok, dude. What did you want to tell me?
Jonny (smiling and excited): "Skittle" and "Little". They rhyme!

--

Saturday Night:
[Int. Fridge's living room]

Fridge and Emma have just finished watching Jurassic Park. Clearly a questionable parenting decision as it was too scary for Jonny and he had to leave. Emma and Fridge are discussing the film, which Emma loved.

Emma: Daddy, wouldn't it be totally crazy if there were dinosaurs running around our house!?!?! That would be scary!
Fridge: Yeah that would be. But we'd have Roxy to save us!
Emma: Do you think Roxy could beat up a velociraptor??!?!
Fridge: Actually, no. She'd definitely try to save us if there was a velociraptor trying to eat us. But the dinosaur would probably eat her instead.
Emma: [Gasp!] No! We can't let them eat Roxy! I'd rather have the velociraptor eat me!
Fridge: Well, if I had to pick one of you to feed to a velociraptor, it'd definitely be Roxy and not you.

Emma cries out, leaping on top of a formerly sleeping, now bewildered labrador in a wild embrace.

Emma: Whaaaaa!!!!! No, daddy! That means you don't love my SISTER Roxy as much as me! That's not nice!
Fridge: Hey, I love Roxy, but that's exactly right. I don't love her as much as you. If it's you or her, then she's dinosaur food.
Emma: DADDY!!! That's a very very mean thing to say! Don't say that!

Emma collapses on Roxy, who is thoroughly confused. Emma sobs for a moment or two and then abruptly sits up with a tear-filled face and a slightly mischievous grin

Emma: Hey daddy [chuckles] maybe we can feed Jonny to the velociraptor instead?

Year End Meme

I've been tagged.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Learned to play craps.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
New Year's resolutions are for suckers.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Barbra, my sister-in-law had a baby about a month ago. My first niece after a bunch of nephews. She's cute as hell.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not that I recall. I guess that might determine "close".

5. What places did you visit?
Vegas. Yankee Stadium for the last time.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A maid. Seriously. I am working on this.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Feb 3 and Nov 4. Both big victories for my teams.

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
I can't think of any. I've been in a ridiculous holding pattern for over a year. There's a lot of crap on tap for '09, though.


9. What was your biggest failure?
There are many things I failed to make any progress with, including my divorce.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. Usually, my kids are bringing stuff home every month, but this has been a very good year for our immune systems.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
42" LCD HDTV. I can't imagine going back to non-HD full time anymore.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My kids. They had a great year.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My ex's boyfriend. He's an impressive douchebag.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage and day care. Always.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The New York Giants

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"The Frown Song" by Ben Folds.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder?
happier, I guess.
b) thinner or fatter?
fatter, for sure
c) richer or poorer?
poorer for sure.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Read

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Laundry

20. How did you spend Christmas this year?
Awkwardly

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
With my XBOX 360, yes.

22. How was work?
Surprisingly rewarding.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
The Daily Show. Clusterfuck to the White House was nightly must see tv.

24. What did you do for your birthday in 2008?
My kids and I cooked dinner.

25. What was the best book you read?
Bad year for Fridge reading. The user guide for Gears of War 2?

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I would say, Jay-Z's "Reasonable Doubt", which is only new to me and is a major staple in my rotation.

27. What did you want and get?
XBOX 360

28. What did you want and not get?
Divorced

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Tropic Thunder, I think. Iron Man was good, too. Dark Knight. Wall E? No huge standouts, but a bunch of solid films.

30. Did you make some new friends this year?
A few.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Renting a dumpster and taking a week of vacation to fill it up with the ridiculous clutter in my house.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Hoodie and cargo pants?

33. What kept you sane?
Emma and Jonathan

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Right now, it's the Mom, Mrs. Taylor on Friday Night Lights. She's MILF-tastic.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Sarah Palin being fucking stupid.

35a. What political issue stirred you the least?
Sarah Palin's clothes

36. Who did you miss?
A few of my friends who live all over the US and occasionally my kids.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
There are a couple new guys at work that are pretty cool.

38. Burn any bridges?
Nope. Had ample opportunity to, though.

39. Best new restaurant you went to?
Margaritaville in Las Vegas.

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
"There's no weakness in forgiveness." - The aforementioned MILF-tastic Mrs. Taylor.

Movie Resume Meme

Saw this on facebook first, but then most recently on my brother's blog for smart people.

He saw 71. My number should be considerably higher than that.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG [all versions, including King Kong Vs. Godzilla]
Total so far: 13

( ) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving -MAS
(x) Flubber (orignal only)
Total so far: 17

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 22

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles [One of the best in the John Hughes, suburban teenage white kid flicks]
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 28

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremacy
(x) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled (original only) [the remake has the sublime Liz Hurley]
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
(x) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 41

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
( ) ET [my boycott may not last now that I'm a dad.]
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 48

( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China [watched this about a hundred times in H.S. great!]
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 57

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday (original only)
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 70

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax [Did anyone see this garbage?]
(x) Kippendorf's Tribe [not proud of this]
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 74

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 80

(x) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History ( I'm assuming this is American History X but the x got deleted?)
( ) Three
Total so Far: 84

( ) The Jacket
(X) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 90

( ) High Tension
(x) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn of the Dead
(x) Hook
( ) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
(x) Phantasm (Underrated)
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 98

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
(x) the Hills Have Eyes
(x) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
(x) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 105

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 111

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2 [easily one of my favorite movies of all time]
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal
Total so far: 121

( ) Battle Royale
( ) Battle Royale 2
(x) Brazil
(x) Contact
(x) Cube
(x) Dr. Strangelove
( ) Enlightenment Guaranteed
( ) Four Rooms
(x) Memento
( ) Pi
( ) Requiem for a Dream
(x) Pulp Fiction
(x) Reservoir Dogs
( ) Run Lola Run
( ) Russian Ark
(x) Serenity
(x) Sin City
(x) Snatch
( ) Spider
(x) The Sixth Sense
(x) The Village
( ) Waking Life
( ) Zatoichi
( ) Ikiru
(x) The Seven Samurai
(x) Brick
(x) Akira
Total so far: 136

Holy crap, am I a loser. I nearly doubled my bro. I guess that explains why he has a PhD and I have an ass-shaped imprint on my couch.

Anyone top that? I tag everyone... that means you.

Sledding!

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

1983 = Awesomeness

Fridge shares videos

Ok, these need to be watched in order.

First watch this one and get your full geek on.



then, as the extreme geekout nearly makes you slide into a coma, watch this and you'll return to normal.

Name Game Meme

Tagged by Tracy in the "all Toasters" category...

1. Witness Protection Program Name (mother’s & father’s middle names): Jane Henry

2. NASCAR Name (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad): Simeon Henry

3. Star Wars Name (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name): Blerik

4. Detective Name (favorite color, favorite animal): Blue Lab

5. Soap Opera Name (middle name, city where you live): John Clinton

6. Superhero Name (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add "THE" to the beginning): The Green Guiness

7. Fly Name (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Erir

8. Gangsta Name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie): Chocolate Thin Mint

9. Rock Star Name (current pet’s name, current street name): Roxy Pepperbush

10. Porn Name (1st pet, street you grew up on): Porthos Kendon

My thoughts:
- shouldn't the rules reverse #1 for cases of gender? Henry Jane would be a far better witness protection name than Jane Henry. Unless we're going to extraordinary lengths to hide my identity.
- Blerik is a good star wars name. I'd like to be "Blerik Skywalker" the shiftless drunken half-brother to Luke and Leia. Kinda like Roger Clinton.
- 'Blue Lab' isn't a great detective name, but would be a fantastic name for a pub.
- I think "The Green Guinness" would be an overly muscled heroic leprechaun?
- I could pull off "Chocolate Thin Mint" as a gangsta name. I would just need RZA to produce.

Nope, not ready to be magnanimous yet

Open Post to Barack Obama

----

Look, Mr. President-Elect, I get it. You're the big person, gracious as all get out and you think Lieberman should be allowed to return to the Democratic caucus, "prodigal son" style. So, you know, let's kill a fatted calf and have a barbecue chock full of bon homie, keg beer and backslapping.

Nope. Not yet. Not for Lieberman. Sorry, I can't.

It's a bit personal, you see. It was to me, as a Connecticut voter, that Joe lied during his 2006 Senate run. At the time, one of his faces said he was a vocal critic of the president. His other face said "in matters of war, we undermine presidential credibility at our nation's peril." One of his faces said, in October 2006 (before the election), he thought we could bring the troops home soon. The other face then said two months later (after the election) that doing so was victory for Al Qaeda. During his re-election campaign he said he'd support a Democrat for president. And I'm sure you remember what he said at the Republican Convention, about you voting against funding the troops.

Did you really vote to cut off spending to the troops? Or are you just Jesus-like in your ability to turn the other cheek? I'm not. If it were up to me, I'd put his droopy-faced head on a pike next to the Washington Monument. It's not me, however, and you seem to have a distaste for revenge. But more than just me looking for revenge, there's a pragmatic side to punishing Joe. Simply put, there has to be a cost for his actions. You've got a big job ahead as the offcial cat-herder of self-obsessed Washington operators. If you expect to have the respect of 535 supremely egotistical and independently motivated congress members, there has to be a cost to stepping THIS FUCKING far out of line.

So, I get it. You're a legit "big tent" guy. But Joe Lieberman lied to his constituents, lied about your record and turned his back on his party at the most critical moments of my lifetime. There has to be a cost.

We un-retire this blog to bring you thoughts of a five year old

Yesterday, I bought my son a Spiderman lunch box because I dropped his Speed Racer lunch box and the little plastic doo-hickey that keeps it closed snapped off. That led to this conversation on the way to pre-school today.

Jonny: Dad, why did you break my Speed Racer lunch box?
Dad: Well, it was an accident, remember? It fell off the counter and broke.
Jonny: Oh yeah. I remember. That's OK Dad, because it was an accident and I like this one better anyway.
Dad: Great! What do you like about it?
Jonny: It's like my friend Nicholas' spider man lunch box, but different. It's blue. It has my name on it. Hey, I can see Spider-Man's penis.
Dad: Wait, What!?!?!?! You can?!?!?!
Jonny: Yeah, it's right next to his leg.
Dad (thinking silently): That's where you usually find them. Apparently Daddy didn't vet this lunch box sufficiently.
Jonny (singing): "Spider Penis! Spider Penis! Does whatever a Spider Penis does....."

In truth, it was simply the copious bulge in Spider-man's spider-crotch, which Daddy explained was most likely stuffed with spider-socks to help him attract spider-chicks.

Warshington!

Toasters Football Draft Order

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Let's just say that we had an eventful lottery. We did a dry run only to find out that we had no audio. Of course I won that lottery. Did I win the next one? Not so much. But it sure was fun. Here's the final order:

1) Tracy
2) Chemist
3) Kate
4) Angelos
5) John
6) Mr. Furious
7) Michelline
8) Toast
9) Mike
10) VMH
11) Wilde
12) Chris Howard
13) Night Shift
14) Fridge

Free Pass to Shag Meme

I've been tagged by Tracy with a salacious little meme. And just like that the blogging slumber is over. I've been pretty busy, both at work and at home. But I'm never too busy to objectify the ladies.

Here's the rules:

Which brings me to my Question - what five famous people would you want listed in the contract that your significant other had to forgive you if, you know, you just happened to meet them and you just happened to hit it off and they just happened to express interest in some hot, shallow monkey sex?

To be candid, I find myself without a significant other for the first time in 11 years or so. So I don't need a list. But this process is fun as hell. It is interesting to me that as I get older my taste in women ages with me. Unlike, say, Toast

In reverse, countdown-style order.

5) Linda Carter

Today is Linda's birthday - She's 57. Jesu-cristo look at that fucking picture. She was an unbelievably beautiful woman as I went through adolesence and she's forever etched into my brain. I watched Wonder Woman every week and I was in love with her. She's on this list at 57 and will be on it at 80. If it were 1981, she'd be #1 thru 5 on this list.

4) Rachel Weisz

Jeez. Smart. Beautiful. Hot British accent. I adored her in the Constant Gardner, Confidence, About a Boy. And as you can see, I would totally defy the Will of God and eat that apple to get with her.

3) Jennifer Connolly

She was beautiful at 16 in Labyrinth and she's still beautiful now. I almost had trouble watching "Little Children" (great movie, BTW) because she plays a wife who is cheated upon by her bored house husband. How the hell can anyone cheat on her?

2) Scarlett Johansson


One of these is not like the others. This is the only under-35 entry on my list. As I mentioned earlier, the age of the women that I find sexy has grown older with me. Also, I prefer brunettes. This is the exception. Beautiful and curvy. Beautiful face with intelligence in the eyes. Sexy voice. The entire package helps me get over the fact that she was 2 when I got my driver's license.

1) Jennifer Garner

In an alternate, more stalker-ish universe, Jennifer Garner and I are together. And she's a Yankee fan instead of having been Afflecked into Red Sox nation. And also I didn't knock her up just in time screw up the final season of Alias.

Seriously, though, she's gorgeous. She seems very cool and easy going. And something about the sweet Sydney Bristow side and the sexy bad-ass spy she played on Alias worked for me on just so many levels. There's just something about her that I really love. And I must truly be into her if I sat through Catch and Release on cable - twice.


Honorable mentions:
1) CT channel 8's Sonia Baghdaddy - she's the only reason I watch local news
2) Pam Anderson - one wild night in the gutter!
3) Cheryl Hines from Curb Your Enthusiasm
4) Kimberly Jones - Former NY Giant beat reporter now YES sideline reporter.
So, there ya go.
5) Marisa Tomei - never used to like her at her popularity peak, but she's positively MILFy now.
6) Catherine Zeta Jones

Movie Review - W A L L - E

I took the fridge-spawn to see Wall-E last night and left amazed. And by amazed, I don't mean in love with the movie. Simply amazed. This is not the typical Pixar fare. This is the most subversive kids movie since the first Willie Wonka. Can a movie be a kids movie, a robot love story, an ecological parable and a scathing critique of American society? Apparently yes.

I'm not gonna recount the plot of the story because it's just not as interesting as the ways in which this movie is a truly unusual experience (if you want that, this review gives it to ya). So, here are those "unusual ways" - bullet point style.

the first half of the film has almost no dialog. Wall-E only knows one word and that's his name. He learns another from his love-interest EvE - her name. She apparently only knows a couple others "Plant" and "Directive". The first half of the movie is nearly a silent film. Given the proclivity of most science fiction directors to pound our ears in with tedious exposition, this is an amazingly interesting and refreshing choice. The funniest description I've read of this is "Cormac McCarthy for kids!"

sidebar: The flip-side of this becomes clear when you take a 4 year old and a 6 year old to watch a movie. In the absence of this dialog, these children will have many, many very loud questions. You may discuss whispering and why it's important at a theater when you can talk loudly at home.

Imagine the Pixar movie story meetings. "So wait, we're gonna make a movie for kids? You know, which typically are advertised with Happy Meals and often simply vehicles to sell toys. But, we're gonna use it to destroy the "LayZBoy-Box Store" American lifestyle? Really?"

Truly a startling choice. This movie is practically Idiocracy for the toddler set. Incredible, really.

It all works. The target audience ("my kids") loved it. They were shocked and dismayed when all the people left the earth because of the garbage and pollution and they were elated and were elated when the people came back to earth to live. And they laughed and cheered for Wall-E all along the way. Truly remarkable. They don't know they just watched a movie that eviscerates the society they enjoy. At least today they don't. But that message will sink in and as they watch these movies over and over again as they grow up that message will surely sink in.

I was intrigued when in 2006, Pixar decided they would no longer cross-promote with fast food companies. That's a small step for them to do if they want to make a difference. This movie is a big step. Pixar is using it's super powers to try and do good. Surely this will piss some people off. I'm fascinated by it.

I'm not gonna give Wall-E a glib rating. I'm still too perplexed by how I feel about it. I definitely enjoyed parts of it greatly. I definitely was stung by some of the criticism when it hit home. Do I want Pixar movies that have such strong messages? Or do I just want entertainment from them? I dunno. Like all Pixar movies, it's very well done with amazing animation, but I can't decide how much I like it. I think I like that about the film the most.

Romo Vs Eli

I've had several lengthy (and likely tedious for others) arguments about this very topic with John Howard. Sports arguments are always fun for me and over the years I've had lots of fun teasing Cowboy fans about Troy Aikman's overrated status among all-time QB's. There's nothing as enjoyable as arguing largely qualitative analysis with ultimate certainty. But, this is apparently not just a phenomenon between me and John over at TwoGlasses. NFL.com analyst and Sirius radio host Pat Kirwan acknowledged that Romo Vs Peyton's brother is actually a very popular debate. He puts forth a short and sweet breakdown, ending disappointingly in a tie (better for radio fodder, I'd guess). But, I think Kirwan's real vote is found in his last passage before pimping his radio show.

So after this breakdown it is a split decision, but if you like playoff football and division play Eli Manning is the winner. If you like regular season and personal achievements then Romo is the winner.

Yeah, I'd say that pretty much sums it up.

Still, it puts Cowboy fans in an difficult position. How does one say that Aikman was great because his team won many times in the playoffs and Super Bowl and then say that Romo is great because of his November dominance and in spite of his January disappointment? I mean, Aikman probably has the worst career statistics of any HOF QB. All Romo has in his favor is a year and a half of statistics and some lousy playoff performances. Can they both be 'great'?

I don't really have that problem. All my Giant QBs have been the win-ugly-just-get-it-done types. I'm much more comfortable with that than a smirking playboy who wants to be a pro golfer. Maybe that's just me, though.

Sports Potpourri

I never post anymore. Ok, maybe almost never. Here's some sports stuff that's been rattling around my head lately.

Even Kobe Bryant knows that Curt Schilling Sucks. Apparently, our favorite marshmallow shaped hurler caught a Celtics-Lakers game and heard Kobe chirping at his teammates and generally being pissed off while losing. He of course had to write about it on his blog. You can read the bloated post itself, but the gist is that Kobe as a leader is sullen, cranky and tuned out by his teammates. On the other hand, the Celts were totally cool by Curt's standards. Ironically, in the same post, he says that the Manny Vs. Youk dust up is a total non-issue. Let's keep score: In the same post, Schilling draws many conclusions from the non-verbal cues of the Lakers and blows off an acutal fight during a game from his teammates. Curt Schilling Doesn't Suck 0, Curt Schilling Sucks 1. Oh, you don't think Curt's teammates rolled their eyes at him some times? They called him "Redlight" because he loved to talk anytime a camera was recording.

Kobe's reponse when this is brought up by the Boston Media? "Go Yankees". And while I had sided with the Celts going in to the Finals, I am now rooting for the Lakers because I hate Curt Schilling that much and the Celtics are guilty by association. I will admit however I feel a little bit like I've just aligned myself with Saddam Hussein against the Ayatollah. It's not a good feeling. I'll just close my eyes and pretend that it's Magic, Worthy and Kareem against the dirty Bird era Celtics.

After reading this post regarding the question "Is Phil Hughes injury prone?" I officially have a twinge of regret at refusing to include him for Santana. Maybe we can get CC for him?

Welcome Papi. Vote Obama.

All kinds of awesome news at Giants mini-camp. Plax is gonna hold out for more money (he should). Shockey is generally pissing everyone off (surprise) and Osi wants more money but says he'll play. Oh yeah, and Mike Strahan retired. Is this why it's so damn hard to repeat? Hopefully, not having to pay Strahan will free up some cap space to give those guys some more $$$ and maybe resign Chris Snee. But, I'm officially dialing down hopes for the season now. I wonder if the lack of leadership from Strahan and inevitable complacency will trip up the men in blue this season. If it does, I'll always have my Giants 5 DVD complete playoff run and Super Bowl set to watch over and over.

What the hell is wrong with the Yankees? They sit squarely at .500, 7 games behind the Boston Douchenozzles. Well, why is that? It's simple really. They are pitching worse than expected and hitting far worse than expected. Last year, the Yankees were 7th in runs allowed in the AL and this year they are 9th. This, actually is not unexpected, as we planned on breaking in some young pitchers and that has not gone well. In fact, seeing that it's gone as badly as it did, it's impressive that the Yankees are 9th. But still, that's not that big a drop and is not the real reason that the team is floundering. The real reason is offense. The Yankees are 6th in the AL and tied for 13th in MLB in runs scored. Last year, they led all of baseball, basically all year. That's the real problem. Losing Posada and A-Rod hurt. And Cano and Melky have been terrible. Posada and A-Rod are back now. Cano, you can expect to improve, but maybe it's time to give Brett Gardner a chance in CF. I believe that the pitching will improve in the second half. But if the Yanks are gonna make a run, they need the offense to start cranking.

BTW, the Yankees record on June 12, 2007? 31-31, just like today. Ended up with 94 wins.

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BOOZE!

I've been too busy with real life to blog anything recently. And, I've even fallen way behind on memes. I was tagged by Toast with a booze meme. Here goes.

1. Beer, wine, liquor, mixed drinks. Rank 'em.

1. Beer
2. Liquor
3. Mixed drinks
4. Wine
That said, I'm a newb to wine.

2. How often do you drink?

Used to be a lot. Now, not so much. Once a week?

3. Favorite Scotch?

Again, I'm a newb to this, too. After asking Toast for a "scotch for dummies" Toast hooked me up with MacCallans Twelve Year single malt. I really like it.

4. Favorite Bourbon?

Maker's Mark is nice. I don't drink bourbon anymore much. I went through a bourbon phase in college and I found myself an angry drunk then. I guess I associate it with that.

5. Favorite tequila?

Patron XO cafe. It's coffee flavored patron. Fantastic in my coffee on Sunday Mornings. Other than that, I like Sauza Hornitos.

6. Favorite Gin?

Bombay

7. Favorite Vodka?

Grey Goose. Half lemonade + half GG + loads of ice = fantastic hot summer day drink.

8. Favorite Rum?

Myers Dark. Love Rum and Diets...

9. Drunkest you've ever been?

As a wayyy too enthusiastic 17 year old freshman, I finished room golf at good ol' PSK in an hour and a half. Was carried home, puked everywhere in my room and lost control of my bodily functions. Good times! No, not really.

10. Red or White?

I say Red.

11. Best wine you've ever tasted?

Don't really know. I'm not much of a wine tasting guy.

12. Favorite type of wine?

Pinot Noir

13. Favorite every-day red?

I have an answer to one! Hahn Estates Cabernet Sauvignon. Very Drinkable.

14. Favorite every-day white?

None.

15. Best value wine?

Hahn. What's the difference between everyday and value? Who wouldn't drink the value every day?

16. Do you drink box?

Nope. My beer comes in a box of bottles though.

17. Fastest you've ever gotten drunk?

Drank a bottle of Rebel Yell Bourbon before a fraternity party we were having. Loaded by 8PM. I was obnoxious to every woman in sight, slipped and did a split on a wet dance floor and I'm told I slid right back up to a standing position a la James Brown. Woke up the next morning having puked in my favorite Yankee hat and with a very sore groin.

18. Longest you've ever stayed drunk?

Five days. I went to Mardi Gras in 1997. We arrived on Friday and left on Ash Wednesday. I believe I spent more on alcohol than I did on my room and flight combined.

19. Ever do anything you really regret while drunk?

Of course. Drove home from a strip club once, don't remember it and woke up in my car covered in puke. That sucked.

20. Favorite lager?

Corona is the only lager I usually buy. I am fond of many pilsners, namely grolsch or Pislner Urquell.

21. Favorite IPA?

Dogfish Head 60-minute IPA. It's probably my favorite beer right now. But, Bass has been one of the main loves of my life for 20 years. When my folks lived in England, I dragged them to the Bass brewery for a tour. Love me some Bass.

22. Favorite brown ale?

I'm with Toast. Newcastle. I'm very fond of Dogfishhead's Brown. So, Chocolate-ey and delicious. But Newcastle is a true classic

23. Favorite doppelbock?

Don't have one.

24. Favorite Belgian?

Ommegang.

25. Favorite stout?

Guinness. When I owned a bar, I used to say that Guiness, Bass and Sam Adams were the holy trinity of beers. One lager, one ale, one stout.


26. Favorite Winter Ale?

Sam Adams Winter Lager. I'm very excited when this comes out every year.

27. Favorite Scotch Ale?

McEwan's. It's far better than any other.

28. Favorite Other? (Because I realize this is getting abusive to non-beer-nerds.)

Magic Hat #9. Simply a great every-day drinking beer.

29. Favorite Brewery?

Magic Hat. Every beer they make is very good quality and they show a range that most brewers don't have. And their bottle caps have clever little messages.

30. Favorite mixed drink?

Rum and Diet Coke.

31. Favorite morning libation?

Mexican Coffee.

32. Do you suffer memory loss when you drink heavily?

When I drink heavily? Well, yeah. I don't often drink heavily enough that I don't remember, however.

33. Favorite place to drink?

Eli Cannon's Tap Room.

34. Favorite sports bar?

Toast and Tracy took me Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the Giants kick the Jets asses. I was in heaven. And Tracy was awesome enough to drink a whole 20 oz of Coors Light, just so I could take home a football shaped glass. I also like Hooters.

35. Ever consider AA?

Nope. Should I?

This one's for you, Hillary.

side note: This song is also the ring tone of one particular person on my phone.

FridgePod

Just got a new iPod, with the last one's hard drive having crapped out after only 3 months. In celebration, here's a shuffled 13 out of the 7000 or so tracks on this little silver dude.

1) Gene - "Love Don't Work" Revelations
Damn, I need to listen to these guys more. Great BritPop band.

2) The Donnas - "Just take me to the backseat" Spend The Night
"Do you need a map?
Let's skip the nightcap
I'll make it sticky sweet
Just take me to the backseat!"

3) Soundgarden - "Mailman" Superunknown
"I know I'm headed for the bottom
But I'm riding you all the way"
Five extra points for the sweet, sweet bitterness in this tune.

4) RATT - "In Your Direction" Out Of The Cellar
Easily, one of my favorite 80's hair metal albums ever. I have listened to this album hundreds of times. Maybe a thousand.

5) Snoop Dogg - "Who Am I? (What's my name?)" Doggystyle
"Snoop Doggy, Do-owww-ohhhh-oggg (the bomb)
Snoop Doggy, Do-owww-ohhhh-oggg
Snoop Doggy, Do-owww-ohhhh-oggg (the bomb)
Snoop Doggy, Do-owww-ohhhh-oggg (Dog)
Da-duh-da-da-dah"
I bought his new album, but haven't cracked it yet.

6) Dixie Chicks - "Not Ready To Make Nice" Taking The Long Way
I saw the documentary "Shut Up And Sing" that covers the making of this album after the Natalie Maines said she was ashamed that Dubya was from Texas. Enjoyable little movie. Notable things I learned:
- Natalie Maines (lead singer) is married to Nathan Petrelli.
- Chad from RHCP plays drums on the record.
- Rock/Hip Hop icon Rick Rubin was consulted for the record and has a dog that looks just like him.

7) Travis - "paperclips" 12 Memories
"I don't wanna be like you anymore
I don't wanna see your face at my door
And I'll never leave like you, that's for sure"
Wow. This is wrist-slitting music. Hope the next tune picks up.

8) KISS - "Christine Sixteen" The Very Best of KISS
"She's' been around, but she's young and clean
I've got to have her, can't live without her, whoo no
Christine sixteen, Christine sixteen"
Uh.... well, it's peppy. Creepy, for sure, but Peppy.

9) Snoop Dogg - "Gz and Hustlas" Doggy Style
YAY IPOD RANDOMIZATION! 7000 songs, can't make 9 before an album overlap. At least it's an all-time great album that's being repeated.

10) Tyler Bates - "Xerxes' final offer" 300 Soundtrack
THIS! IS! BRANFORD!

11) Notorious B.I.G. - "Living The Life" Duets: The Final Chapter
"Bitch, you crazy? Commitments, I'm Swayze
No time for the ill shit
Mess with the niggaz on that real blood spill shit
My rappin' tactics, are drastic
Stretchin' motherfuckers like Mr. Fantastic
So if you wanna see my Pedigree, you better be
filled with energy, niggaz never gettin' me"
One of my nicest benefits of separating from my ex? I am no longer held captive by her musical tastes and intolerance for mine (especially hiphop). Adios Garth-fucking-Brooks. Hello, B.I.G. BTW, third appearance by Snoop on this shuffle. He and Ludacris are on the track, too.

12) Modest Mouse - "Missed The Boat" We were dead before the ship even sank
"Everyone's unhappy
Everyone's ashamed
Well we all just got caught looking
At somebody else's page
Well nothing ever went
Quite exactly as we planned
Our ideas held no water
But we used them like a dam"
The official anthem of the Bush Administration. Very good album. One of my favorite guitarists, Johnny Marr, is on board.

13) The Donnas - "5 o'clock in the morning" Spend The Night
You know, when I picked this CD up in the bargain bin, I never imagined my ipod would be so fond of it.

I give this shuffle a b-. Too much The Donnas, for sure. Don't mind the Snoop repetition as much because he's fantastic.